Last edited Wed Dec 28, 2022, 09:12 AM - Edit history (1)
Women with intellect, especially if not pearly white. You either find a longshot needle in a haystack or you are alone... with or without children.
It's not worth the trouble. I realized at my therapists a while back, that I have lived my entire life of 65+ years without love and affection from anyone anywhere. My parents didn't want me, I was darker than my mom and female, a curse at birth in their eyes. My mother, for the nine years she was around treated me like I would have no prospects for my future than to find some guy who wasn't too kinky or abusive to hatch out kids for and then be his slave for the rest of my life. Seriously that was the only future they saw for me. Not being pearly white was a life sentence for failure and servitude, especially if female. And they trained me by enslaving me to care for 24/7 their last three offspring for seven years.
I rejected that philosophy at a very early age and suffered for it until I left home at 16.
But I have a few friends and we care about each other and that's a comfort. I am reclusive partly because of my numerous bad experiences with people in general, I don't have the time to recover from each offensive encounter and continue to live my life.
I like the folks on DU, there are many others here who are suffering our society's failure to value those who are different and punishes them for not being what it claims they should be... like married and having kids and living the Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle which is the biggest crock of poo.
Thing is, I'm not the lone ranger. Back when I was dating, guys insisted, in California, that if they bought dinner you somehow owed them sex, even if it was just a bj. Not my thing so I figured out quickly that I was like meat on a hook. And, guys, like in the trucking world back then, expected that if you worked with them in a team, you were the "bunk warmer" and had to do your share and some of his share of the work. Every time I heard the lines coming from their mouths a few miles out of town, they would find themselves stranded at a truck stop or rest area and I would finish the trip solo. My favorite dumping ground was that rest area about an hour west of Lincoln, NE, Greyhound used to stop there.
I'm about done with my run on this planet and I don't feel sorry for myself nor do I regret insisting on my personal freedom, I've fucking paid for it.
Now I'm just an old woman getting wrinkly and tired, I'm kind of running out of fucks at this point.
I understand the biological differences and all that but our society is really sick and needs help when it comes to sex and gender issues.
PS: I love you and your boys' relationships and that you reflect on life the way that you do!
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