Where was the most embarrassing place you farted?

[wnylib]

85. There was one other time when it was a close call

but I managed to hold it back.

I was having outpatient surgery in the doctor's office, a gynecologist. He was removing a section of my cervix after a positive PAP and biopsy. Local anesthetic, so I was awake through it all.

So there I was on my back, feet in stirrups, nude from the waist down, and the doc was crouched down, face up close as he he gave the anesthetic shot into the cervical area. I could feel a small intestinal air bubble and thought, "Oh no. I can't fart in his face." So I tightened the muscle, not realizinlg that the simple tightening caused movement. He asked if the shot had pinched. Not willing to admit the real problem, I said, "Just a little."

He said that once he started the procedure, I would have to stay perfectly still because any movement would put his hand off course, removing more tissue than necessary or the wrong tissue. He moved away for about ten minutes to let the anesthetic take hold and I released the small, mercifully silent and odorless air bubble.

The surgery went well. I stayed still, so there was no veering off course. In fact, he told me that healthy tissue would grow back, good as new. So I said that he was a miracle worker, turning me into a virgin again after two marriages.