I know how much you're hurting.
When my husband and I divorced I was so scared and stunned and blind-sided that I threw up every day for 6 months. I was panicked. I had a part time job that paid $6.25/hr. How would I take care of myself and my daughter? How did I not see that he was having an affair? This was supposed to be forever, now what?
I have been where you are now. Flash forward 6 years. It's better. A lot better.
Like the proverbial frog in the pot of water, the unhappiness snuck up on me. I didn't realize how unhappy I was, until suddenly, I wasn't anymore. This is a blessing in disguise. Because if he was worthy of you, he never could have left you in such a cowardly way. He's a cheat and he told you over the phone. Wow. Manly. 
It won't be easy. Telling him to fuck off and die is not such a bad thing. I had plenty of those rage moments when I wanted to hit mine with something. Preferably something heavy, like my car. But eventually they came fewer and farther between.
It'll be OK. Right now everything is destroyed, true. But every day will bring one tiny little success, and you'll put them together day by day and rebuild your life, and it will be better than it was before.
You've got this. You can do it.
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