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I call it "What I really want to say" All the poison goes in there. The act of writing unburdens me. Sometimes, after I write, I delete it. I too have things that color my outlook, sort of like having my own One Ring.
If Christmas is cursed for you, observe what makes it special for you at another time. Or just focus on all the glitter and ponder the miracle when you want to. I realized his year that we are all going crazy working to a deadline imposed by people we've never met.
The holiday is past. Feel better 
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