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hamsterjill

(17,367 posts)

53. There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to use your name.

Fri Feb 27, 2026, 12:23 PM

Yesterday

I totally "get" where you are coming from, and that scenario bothers me, too.

There is nothing wrong with asking that you be referred to by your name.

Do you think that when Cher goes in for plastic surgery that they call her "sweetie"? I would doubt it.

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What is it with calling older women "momma" when they are customers at a business? [View all] hamsterjill Yesterday OP

I ain't your mamma! eliZabet Yesterday #1

Welcome to DU LetMyPeopleVote Yesterday #67

Way to make a strong statement with your first post. True Dough Yesterday #127

It's a country custom to call all females momma when they are childbearing age or older. lark Yesterday #2

Time to stop that custom. hamsterjill Yesterday #5

Even if it's not a business, it is presumptuous and demeaning and inaccurate as well. lark Yesterday #9

I agree and I have lived/worked/spent time in 37/50 states and never heard it except hlthe2b Yesterday #21

Oh, I'm on a crusade now. It won't go unaddressed again. hamsterjill Yesterday #23

frankly new to me as well. and, if it is/was a 'rural' thing - it was in parts of the country stopdiggin Yesterday #47

Yes, I agree PatSeg Yesterday #48

There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to use your name. hamsterjill Yesterday #53

Excellent example PatSeg Yesterday #60

Hon and sweetie are the norm here in KY Bayard Yesterday #116

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Yesterday #117

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Yesterday #118

I'm 69 and never heard it before. Ferrets are Cool Yesterday #14

Yes and Sugar, Sweetie, Honey PatSeg Yesterday #50

spent 65 years in Tennessee, Mississippi and Georgia Brainstormy Yesterday #16

I'm a Floridian and I have never heard it here or in the South. Of course, I don't hang out in rural parts either. lark Yesterday #17

I think he lied to you. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #96

WTF Skittles Yesterday #125

I didn't like it. lark 13 hrs ago #130

I don't think they mean any disrespect. LuvLoogie Yesterday #3

I don't think they mean disrespect. hamsterjill Yesterday #7

Is it an AAVE thing or a Southern Thing? I haven't noticed it anywhere... QueerDuck Yesterday #77

Some here have explained that it's a Hispanic cultural thing. hamsterjill Yesterday #78

The only time I've heard it was in a CVS. The pharm tech was spooky3 Yesterday #79

Oh, I hate that one, too. hamsterjill Yesterday #82

Oh, yeah "young iady" . electric_blue68 Yesterday #84

I agree with you! 100% QueerDuck Yesterday #87

As for "pops", I would be inclined to take that as casually dismissive at best from a stranger... Harker Yesterday #31

I don't know, man. LuvLoogie Yesterday #35

I no longer have a professional setting, and I'm usually pretty quick with a quip. Harker Yesterday #42

I was called "Boss" by one of my troops LogDog75 Yesterday #80

How 'bout thanks, prick? Trueblue Texan Yesterday #98

Lighten up, Francis. LuvLoogie Yesterday #102

This is light. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #107

Noted... LuvLoogie Yesterday #114

"Junior" is good. "You young whippersnapper" is kind of the A-bomb; use it sparingly. :) nt eppur_se_muova 22 hrs ago #128

I'm 71 and retired, but the two people I called boss Nittersing Yesterday #44

I'd bet that they did, given that you used it with respect. Harker Yesterday #55

I noticed that the contractor who worked on my house was called spooky3 Yesterday #81

I doubt very seriously it is an attempt to show respect. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #97

It's not that serious. Sometimes I'm called "baby" LuvLoogie Yesterday #101

Never Heard That, But... ProfessorGAC Yesterday #4

When my wife was in rehab it was the black nurses & aides who did that TexLaProgressive Yesterday #6

My guess is she wasn't even aware she called you that. CrispyQ Yesterday #8

You're probably right. hamsterjill Yesterday #11

I've never heard that and I hope I never do, because I could get real unpleasant. Ocelot II Yesterday #10

I thought it was just a South Texas thing... hamsterjill Yesterday #12

It's definitely not a Minnesota thing. Ocelot II Yesterday #13

Well, once again, Ocelot hamsterjill Yesterday #22

We're feeling a bit prickly in these parts lately. Ocelot II Yesterday #25

I'm surprised you didn't answer with "Satan's Spawn". hamsterjill Yesterday #29

It is NOT a Texas thing. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #100

Now that I think about it, I knew a young woman who called her daughter momma. CrispyQ Yesterday #56

I've heard the reference to female babies, too. hamsterjill Yesterday #65

I thought it was an old rock & roll thing eShirl Yesterday #15

Like "my old lady"???? hamsterjill Yesterday #18

I never liked that term either...I thought it was condescending. walkingman Yesterday #36

I've never gotten "momma," but the last hair stylist who cut my hair was "dear this" and "dear that." Vinca Yesterday #19

I like your fantasy! hamsterjill Yesterday #20

You know what else bugs me? Doctors. Ocelot II Yesterday #28

I started my nurse practitioner career in the Air Force, where I was addressed by my rank. 3catwoman3 Yesterday #68

I go to the stop n rob down the street for gas because I get digital coupons and a clerk there is the sweetest Deuxcents Yesterday #24

Interesting... hamsterjill Yesterday #26

I couldn't agree more... Trueblue Texan Yesterday #27

And yet some are taking offense that I'm expecting equality. SMH... hamsterjill Yesterday #75

not uncommon for indian shopkeepers where i live. mopinko Yesterday #30

I think it's just one of those things. LuckyCharms Yesterday #32

My name has 3 syllables. So I don't mind if people shorten it to 1 syllable. Zackzzzz Yesterday #38

I have a friend whose name is "Michael". hamsterjill Yesterday #41

In Hispanic cutures it is a form of respect DUMember24 Yesterday #33

I understand that it may be cultural, but it's still not right. hamsterjill Yesterday #39

In Maine they used to say "Dee-ah", unisex and kindly Easterncedar Yesterday #34

Me too.. yorkster Yesterday #62

Maybe they're so illiterate Mblaze Yesterday #37

No, it was definitely "momma". hamsterjill Yesterday #40

Call the bank AverageOldGuy Yesterday #43

It's meant as a sign of friendly respect Bobstandard Yesterday #45

I look for the good in people. hamsterjill Yesterday #49

Momma wouldn't bother me. It sounds like she is trying to be friendly. 1WorldHope Yesterday #46

I'm sorry, but it bothers me. hamsterjill Yesterday #51

I too am a feminist. I understand how much stress young people are under. 1WorldHope Yesterday #61

I asked a question to make her think. hamsterjill Yesterday #63

My grandmother would have been offended if you called her ma'am. (short for madam) Ptah Yesterday #71

What did she want to be called as a sign of respect? hamsterjill Yesterday #72

My point is that what is offensive to some is not offensive to others. Ptah Yesterday #73

So if a 40 year old male is to be referred to as "sir" hamsterjill Yesterday #74

you ain't alone, gal Skittles Yesterday #126

do like this response. it may seem 'odd' to your prior experience stopdiggin Yesterday #58

It may not feel rude to you, but it certainly feels that way to some of us. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #99

gaslighting ?? Yikes! I see an exchange of opinion ... (which seems to be about equally divided up and down thread) stopdiggin Yesterday #106

I guess you could say that no matter the offense. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #109

Yeah. If we have a diffferent point of view - definitely a 'put down' involved .. stopdiggin Yesterday #111

I think we are in agreement on this, at least. nt Trueblue Texan Yesterday #113

Joking? The sarcasm was literally dripping ... stopdiggin Yesterday #115

neither are mine. I hope you have a lovely Friday night. nt Trueblue Texan Yesterday #119

Working in Southern California for 50+ years I always felt respected when addressed as Momma. quaint Yesterday #52

I'm happy for you. hamsterjill Yesterday #54

Ubiquitous in the office world of SoCal. quaint Yesterday #57

But what did they call the men? hamsterjill Yesterday #59

I haven't heard anything except uncle or boss, usually not standing close enough. quaint Yesterday #89

If it came from someone in those cultures, I would know it was meant as respect. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #103

How would someone, being respectful in their culture, know you would be greatly offended by Momma? quaint Yesterday #105

I said if the comment came from one of those cultures mentioned I would NOT have taken it as disrespectful. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #110

It is meant to be a term of endearment but it is perhaps too familiar in that situation. camartinwv Yesterday #64

What do they call men of the same age? hamsterjill Yesterday #66

You have asked this a few times Lifeafter70 Yesterday #86

Yes, I wanted an answer. hamsterjill Yesterday #88

No problem for me Lifeafter70 Yesterday #90

Noted. hamsterjill Yesterday #91

Wow Lifeafter70 Yesterday #104

I always take it as being accepted into a community, too. n/t femmedem Yesterday #122

Coming from someone in a hispanic culture it means something different, I know. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #112

I feel like the majority of DUers on this thread must lead very insular lives. intheflow Yesterday #69

Good for you. hamsterjill Yesterday #70

and if someone says "bless your heart" would you know what it meant? Trueblue Texan Yesterday #120

The insular comment was because so many DUers intheflow 12 hrs ago #132

I am an older woman of color Keepthesoulalive Yesterday #76

Those workers represent the bussiness they're working for LogDog75 Yesterday #83

Mostly I hear this from Hispanic people. electric_blue68 Yesterday #85

It bothered me a ton till I had worked in Hispanic neighborhoods for a while. There were a few Scrivener7 Yesterday #92

They wouldn't call me momma twice. To adults I am Ms Dorothy until you know me better, and always to children. Dorothy V Yesterday #93

Maya Angelou hamsterjill Yesterday #94

Great video! Terms of respect vary from area to area. Here, Ms. or Mr. followed by the first name is Dorothy V Yesterday #95

This is what I'm saying Lifeafter70 Yesterday #108

There's only so much time when you're in the drive through lane!!!! hamsterjill Yesterday #121

No Lifeafter70 Yesterday #123

I don't understand why it's so important to you that *I* be like you. hamsterjill Yesterday #124

I've had that happen twice, both times by Vietnamese manicurists, Totally Tunsie 21 hrs ago #129

"If I was your mama, I'd have raised you to have better manners!" The Blue Flower 13 hrs ago #131

Love this!!! hamsterjill 12 hrs ago #133