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hamsterjill

(17,367 posts)

75. And yet some are taking offense that I'm expecting equality. SMH...

Fri Feb 27, 2026, 02:02 PM

Friday

Thanks for understanding. This must be something more common in Texas than in other areas. Some posters seem to be missing the idea that women being called "momma" and men being called "sir" is a problem in a business setting. That's disheartening for me to see on a progressive website such as DU.

I posted this in the Lounge for the very reason that it wasn't going to be something to be substantiated, give links for, etc. It's my opinion. And it most definitely and assuredly is offensive to me. There's even one post about "manufacturing" something.

Momma, my ass!!!! They can kiss it!

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Trueblue Texan

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What is it with calling older women "momma" when they are customers at a business? [View all] hamsterjill Friday OP

I ain't your mamma! eliZabet Friday #1

Welcome to DU LetMyPeopleVote Friday #67

Way to make a strong statement with your first post. True Dough Friday #127

It's a country custom to call all females momma when they are childbearing age or older. lark Friday #2

Time to stop that custom. hamsterjill Friday #5

Even if it's not a business, it is presumptuous and demeaning and inaccurate as well. lark Friday #9

I agree and I have lived/worked/spent time in 37/50 states and never heard it except hlthe2b Friday #21

Oh, I'm on a crusade now. It won't go unaddressed again. hamsterjill Friday #23

frankly new to me as well. and, if it is/was a 'rural' thing - it was in parts of the country stopdiggin Friday #47

Yes, I agree PatSeg Friday #48

There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to use your name. hamsterjill Friday #53

Excellent example PatSeg Friday #60

Hon and sweetie are the norm here in KY Bayard Friday #116

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Friday #117

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Friday #118

I'm 69 and never heard it before. Ferrets are Cool Friday #14

Yes and Sugar, Sweetie, Honey PatSeg Friday #50

spent 65 years in Tennessee, Mississippi and Georgia Brainstormy Friday #16

I'm a Floridian and I have never heard it here or in the South. Of course, I don't hang out in rural parts either. lark Friday #17

I think he lied to you. Trueblue Texan Friday #96

WTF Skittles Friday #125

I didn't like it. lark 14 hrs ago #130

I don't think they mean any disrespect. LuvLoogie Friday #3

I don't think they mean disrespect. hamsterjill Friday #7

Is it an AAVE thing or a Southern Thing? I haven't noticed it anywhere... QueerDuck Friday #77

Some here have explained that it's a Hispanic cultural thing. hamsterjill Friday #78

The only time I've heard it was in a CVS. The pharm tech was spooky3 Friday #79

Oh, I hate that one, too. hamsterjill Friday #82

Oh, yeah "young iady" . electric_blue68 Friday #84

I agree with you! 100% QueerDuck Friday #87

As for "pops", I would be inclined to take that as casually dismissive at best from a stranger... Harker Friday #31

I don't know, man. LuvLoogie Friday #35

I no longer have a professional setting, and I'm usually pretty quick with a quip. Harker Friday #42

I was called "Boss" by one of my troops LogDog75 Friday #80

How 'bout thanks, prick? Trueblue Texan Friday #98

Lighten up, Francis. LuvLoogie Friday #102

This is light. Trueblue Texan Friday #107

Noted... LuvLoogie Friday #114

"Junior" is good. "You young whippersnapper" is kind of the A-bomb; use it sparingly. :) nt eppur_se_muova 23 hrs ago #128

I'm 71 and retired, but the two people I called boss Nittersing Friday #44

I'd bet that they did, given that you used it with respect. Harker Friday #55

I noticed that the contractor who worked on my house was called spooky3 Friday #81

I doubt very seriously it is an attempt to show respect. Trueblue Texan Friday #97

It's not that serious. Sometimes I'm called "baby" LuvLoogie Friday #101

Never Heard That, But... ProfessorGAC Friday #4

When my wife was in rehab it was the black nurses & aides who did that TexLaProgressive Friday #6

My guess is she wasn't even aware she called you that. CrispyQ Friday #8

You're probably right. hamsterjill Friday #11

I've never heard that and I hope I never do, because I could get real unpleasant. Ocelot II Friday #10

I thought it was just a South Texas thing... hamsterjill Friday #12

It's definitely not a Minnesota thing. Ocelot II Friday #13

Well, once again, Ocelot hamsterjill Friday #22

We're feeling a bit prickly in these parts lately. Ocelot II Friday #25

I'm surprised you didn't answer with "Satan's Spawn". hamsterjill Friday #29

It is NOT a Texas thing. Trueblue Texan Friday #100

Now that I think about it, I knew a young woman who called her daughter momma. CrispyQ Friday #56

I've heard the reference to female babies, too. hamsterjill Friday #65

I thought it was an old rock & roll thing eShirl Friday #15

Like "my old lady"???? hamsterjill Friday #18

I never liked that term either...I thought it was condescending. walkingman Friday #36

I've never gotten "momma," but the last hair stylist who cut my hair was "dear this" and "dear that." Vinca Friday #19

I like your fantasy! hamsterjill Friday #20

You know what else bugs me? Doctors. Ocelot II Friday #28

I started my nurse practitioner career in the Air Force, where I was addressed by my rank. 3catwoman3 Friday #68

I go to the stop n rob down the street for gas because I get digital coupons and a clerk there is the sweetest Deuxcents Friday #24

Interesting... hamsterjill Friday #26

I couldn't agree more... Trueblue Texan Friday #27

And yet some are taking offense that I'm expecting equality. SMH... hamsterjill Friday #75

not uncommon for indian shopkeepers where i live. mopinko Friday #30

I think it's just one of those things. LuckyCharms Friday #32

My name has 3 syllables. So I don't mind if people shorten it to 1 syllable. Zackzzzz Friday #38

I have a friend whose name is "Michael". hamsterjill Friday #41

In Hispanic cutures it is a form of respect DUMember24 Friday #33

I understand that it may be cultural, but it's still not right. hamsterjill Friday #39

In Maine they used to say "Dee-ah", unisex and kindly Easterncedar Friday #34

Me too.. yorkster Friday #62

Maybe they're so illiterate Mblaze Friday #37

No, it was definitely "momma". hamsterjill Friday #40

Call the bank AverageOldGuy Friday #43

It's meant as a sign of friendly respect Bobstandard Friday #45

I look for the good in people. hamsterjill Friday #49

Momma wouldn't bother me. It sounds like she is trying to be friendly. 1WorldHope Friday #46

I'm sorry, but it bothers me. hamsterjill Friday #51

I too am a feminist. I understand how much stress young people are under. 1WorldHope Friday #61

I asked a question to make her think. hamsterjill Friday #63

My grandmother would have been offended if you called her ma'am. (short for madam) Ptah Friday #71

What did she want to be called as a sign of respect? hamsterjill Friday #72

My point is that what is offensive to some is not offensive to others. Ptah Friday #73

So if a 40 year old male is to be referred to as "sir" hamsterjill Friday #74

you ain't alone, gal Skittles Friday #126

do like this response. it may seem 'odd' to your prior experience stopdiggin Friday #58

It may not feel rude to you, but it certainly feels that way to some of us. Trueblue Texan Friday #99

gaslighting ?? Yikes! I see an exchange of opinion ... (which seems to be about equally divided up and down thread) stopdiggin Friday #106

I guess you could say that no matter the offense. Trueblue Texan Friday #109

Yeah. If we have a diffferent point of view - definitely a 'put down' involved .. stopdiggin Friday #111

I think we are in agreement on this, at least. nt Trueblue Texan Friday #113

Joking? The sarcasm was literally dripping ... stopdiggin Friday #115

neither are mine. I hope you have a lovely Friday night. nt Trueblue Texan Friday #119

Working in Southern California for 50+ years I always felt respected when addressed as Momma. quaint Friday #52

I'm happy for you. hamsterjill Friday #54

Ubiquitous in the office world of SoCal. quaint Friday #57

But what did they call the men? hamsterjill Friday #59

I haven't heard anything except uncle or boss, usually not standing close enough. quaint Friday #89

If it came from someone in those cultures, I would know it was meant as respect. Trueblue Texan Friday #103

How would someone, being respectful in their culture, know you would be greatly offended by Momma? quaint Friday #105

I said if the comment came from one of those cultures mentioned I would NOT have taken it as disrespectful. Trueblue Texan Friday #110

It is meant to be a term of endearment but it is perhaps too familiar in that situation. camartinwv Friday #64

What do they call men of the same age? hamsterjill Friday #66

You have asked this a few times Lifeafter70 Friday #86

Yes, I wanted an answer. hamsterjill Friday #88

No problem for me Lifeafter70 Friday #90

Noted. hamsterjill Friday #91

Wow Lifeafter70 Friday #104

I always take it as being accepted into a community, too. n/t femmedem Friday #122

Coming from someone in a hispanic culture it means something different, I know. Trueblue Texan Friday #112

I feel like the majority of DUers on this thread must lead very insular lives. intheflow Friday #69

Good for you. hamsterjill Friday #70

and if someone says "bless your heart" would you know what it meant? Trueblue Texan Friday #120

The insular comment was because so many DUers intheflow 14 hrs ago #132

I am an older woman of color Keepthesoulalive Friday #76

Those workers represent the bussiness they're working for LogDog75 Friday #83

Mostly I hear this from Hispanic people. electric_blue68 Friday #85

It bothered me a ton till I had worked in Hispanic neighborhoods for a while. There were a few Scrivener7 Friday #92

They wouldn't call me momma twice. To adults I am Ms Dorothy until you know me better, and always to children. Dorothy V Friday #93

Maya Angelou hamsterjill Friday #94

Great video! Terms of respect vary from area to area. Here, Ms. or Mr. followed by the first name is Dorothy V Friday #95

This is what I'm saying Lifeafter70 Friday #108

There's only so much time when you're in the drive through lane!!!! hamsterjill Friday #121

No Lifeafter70 Friday #123

I don't understand why it's so important to you that *I* be like you. hamsterjill Friday #124

I've had that happen twice, both times by Vietnamese manicurists, Totally Tunsie 23 hrs ago #129

"If I was your mama, I'd have raised you to have better manners!" The Blue Flower 14 hrs ago #131

Love this!!! hamsterjill 14 hrs ago #133