Sigh. Just got word that my only aunt has passed away [View all]

[LiberalEsto]

Sorry if I'm maundering on .. I'm still trying to process this all. I got a letter today from my cousin Anne in Estonia saying that her mother, dear Aunt Aino, passed away on January 27. She was a retired high school physics teacher, wonderfully intelligent and cheerful to be around, though we only enjoyed three visits in her lifetime. She was 84.

The first time I saw her was when my father and Uncle Tip bought plane tickets to fly her to the US back in the late 1970s, when Estonia was still occupied by the Russians. She was dark haired and blue-eyed like my father and uncle, and full of energy. She was absolutely astonished at all the merchandise in American stores and supermarkets, and she bought all kinds of things, jeans, bottles of vanilla flavoring, anything she could think of, to bring home for family and friends. When she left, she was wearing several layers of clothes in case the Soviet customs inspectors decided to confiscate her suitcase for themselves.

Back in Estonia during the Soviet years, the stores were nearly empty, and people lined up for hours to buy basic necessities. I used to ship baby formula and nursing bottles to my cousin when she was unable to nurse her youngest child, because formula, bottles and rubber nipples were unavailable there. My cousin mailed me pencil outlines of her children's feet so I could send them shoes.

In 2003 I managed to scrape together enough money to visit them in Estonia. It was so great hearing stories from her about my grandparents, whom I'd never seen, and about my own father before he became soured by war, refugee camp and his struggles as an immigrant in the U.S. My father and I never got along, and I knew almost nothing of his family history -- all I know I learned from my aunt. We pored over old pictures, and she told me about her father, my grandfather, who was a surgeon for a major railroad connecting Estonia and Latvia, and my grandmother, who was a nurse.

When I went back to Estonia in 2010, I brought my brother, because he would never have had the money to go there on his own. Aunt Aino was very happy to see him and regaled both of us with more family stories. We visited the cemetery where our grandparents and great-uncle are buried. I am thankful now that my brother had the opportunity to visit with her; the only previous time he'd spent time with her was on her visit in 1979.

This past September Aunt Aino's brother Albert, known as Tip, passed away in New Jersey and I had the task of notifying our relatives overseas. Tip cut himself off from everyone in our small family years ago, and I barely knew him. My father died 25 years ago. Aino's only son, Arno, died in 2009 at age 44. Now my biological relatives consist of my two daughters, my brother, my cousin, her three kids and her late brother's two kids and one grandkid, though there are any number of more distant relatives scattered around Estonia. (My mother was an only child and all her family is long gone.)

I am going to miss Aunt Aino.