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handmade34

(24,021 posts)

12. no one's advice here

Sun Oct 20, 2013, 09:04 AM

Oct 2013

will really help... you will know when it is time to choose... when my husband was ill and couldn't communicate, I told him it was his choice, that I would be there no matter the decision and that it was OK if he didn't want to go on (very often with older men their concern is for their loved ones and want to do what is best for them)

I think sometimes we have to give permission to our loved ones to pass if they don't want to keep fighting and the promise that we will love them whether they are ready to go or ready to struggle with the process of possible healing...

be very content in the knowledge that you have been there for him no matter the outcome...

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Went to my dad's house to look for his will [View all] Taverner Oct 2013 OP

See if you can find an Advance Health Care Directive, a Lining Will, or a Health Care Proxy. rug Oct 2013 #1

I did - and he did not check live or die... Taverner Oct 2013 #2

Yup. rug Oct 2013 #3

Yes, my mom first...but she abdicated this Taverner Oct 2013 #4

Ok, you'll know what to do. rug Oct 2013 #6

I just want to know what my dad wants Taverner Oct 2013 #7

The question uually comes down to prognosis and pain. rug Oct 2013 #8

"Just get as many solid facts as you can now." Taverner Oct 2013 #9

Having everyone abdicate it and leave it on you is not fair davidpdx Oct 2013 #13

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Blue_In_AK Oct 2013 #5

Does he have a living will? My dad didn't want a feeding B Calm Oct 2013 #10

I'm so sorry for your troubles - hedgehog Oct 2013 #11

no one's advice here handmade34 Oct 2013 #12

Oh Taverner, I am so so very sorry about this. riderinthestorm Oct 2013 #14

Process is important. Gather information and talk it through with mom and brother Justice Oct 2013 #15

If it's up to you......don't ever think you made a wrong decision. a kennedy Oct 2013 #16

I just want what dad wants Taverner Oct 2013 #17