Not all of our mothers were wonderful.

[betsuni]

8. Argh. I still hear my dead mother's voice in my head

and it's always something passive-aggressive: Are you going to wear that old thing? (about a dress she urged me to buy). Why don't you do something with your hair, don't you want to look decent? Oh, you don't want to gain anymore weight, do you? You're wearing so much make-up, you look like a harlot. You look pale, why not put on a little make-up, don't you want to look decent? Why are you reading that stupid book? (when I'm reading a book she has no idea about). You're wasting your life. You'll never be successful. You're a failure only to spite me. Etc. She never, ever, told anyone explicitly what she wanted and was always disappointed, got really mad when nobody could read her mind.

Both of my siblings have had therapy, not me. I don't know, our parents were nutty, not my problem. Therapy is expensive. None of us have children. My brother said it was like an Aliens movie: imperative that the aliens not spawn because that would only cause more big trouble. I don't miss my mother. I'm extremely happy I didn't have to be in charge of children. I can't even handle a pet.

My husband's family name dies out with him because we didn't have children, so does my family name because my brother didn't. I don't care. I'm sure the dead ancestors don't care either, unless they're really OCD passive-aggressive, in which case they are dead so I don't care and they can haunt me all they want but it won't make a difference.