Big hug to all of those who have/had a shitty mom and is having a tough time today

[politicat]

37. Sib, is that you?

I drew that shit hand in the parenting lottery, too -- both abusive, both horrible in their ways. I'm 20 years from contact with the Asshat, and I bounced between ghosting-no contact and Very low contact with Smother until she finally managed to hit all of the egregious buttons at once (lying, manipulating, gaslighting, a couple felonies, and general creepy, entitled, aggressively inappropriate behavior towards our peers and our students, so young men 25-40 years younger than herself, to name a few of that Cluster of WTF.)

So I'm now 18 months past ending contact and official 'divorce.' The first MDay was hard. This one was much easier, and I'm glad it's finally done. I realized this year that despite the emotional and often physical neglect, we were better off, because the Asshat and Smother focused most of their attentions on each other, and got most of their narcissistic supply by creating drama between and to each other, not us. In the choice between being ignored except when we served her vanity, or being the focus of her vanities, being mostly ignored served us much better.

When I get that "but she's your mooooooommmmm" speech, I can finally just say, "and be glad she isn't yours."

I enjoy the inexpensive cut spring flowers and the good sales on making supplies. I like picking up tulips for cheap and having them for a few days. 30% off yarn and fabric never hurts.