Big hug to all of those who have/had a shitty mom and is having a tough time today

[skypilot]

49. I was relieved when my mother died...

...in 1998. I actually had TWO terrible mothers. First there was my biological mother who left with with an extremely abusive foster mother. This was all supposed to be "temporary" but I ended up stuck with the foster mother for 11 years, from the time I was three years old until I was 14. The only reason I didn't "age out of the system" while under her roof is because she hit me one time too many and I went off on her. My biological mother reluctantly came back into the picture and I was placed in another foster home with a woman who it turned out had a serious drinking problem. I ended up moving around quite a bit and finished my senior year of high school living with a classmate and his family. My mother never got her act together but always acted as though we'd had a normal mother-son relationship even though she wasn't in the picture. I came to realize that she kinda resented the fact that I didn't make it to my 18th birthday while in the first foster home thus obligating her to actually lift a finger on my behalf. She even sided with my first abusive foster mother on a couple occasions.

As I said, she died in 1998. The foster mother is probably dead as well by now. I haven't seen her since 1979. Mothers' Day has NEVER been a thing for me. When I was little I'd try to make nice with the foster mom by giving her Mothers' Day cards that we made in school. I did this a couple times. She never appreciated them and I felt stupid and phony giving them to her.