Veterans kicked out of bar

[TexasTowelie]

8. His problem with me is that I'm unemployed and he doesn't think that I'm trying to find a job.

I wrote about my personal situation here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022423954 post #100.

Aside from that, my brother has anger management issues and has taken the role of victim in every aspect of his personal life. He has never been a sociable person even in the best of his moods.

Some of it has justification. He quit his job at a refinery in 1986 and eventually was forced to join the Army. He was sent to West Germany prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall and then his tour of duty was extended by six months and he was sent with the 1st Armored division to Iraq.

After his military experience he returned to college (he was a D- student in high school) and became a respiratory therapist. He was dropped to PRN status just before Thanksgiving and he wonders why he was the person who got nixed since there were other therapists that had less seniority, but at the same time he was also the subject of some patient complaints because of his attitude and his inability to follow through with the simplest tasks at the hospital (e.g., closing something that he opened, returning equipment back to the area where he picked them up). While I understand and empathize with the change of his job status, he droned on for days about it until I finally had to call him on it because he was driving me further into depression while he assumed the role of victim.

He also was the primary caregiver for my father for about four years before he died, but I wasn't able to assist much since I lived over 200 miles away and voluntarily gave up driving due to some of the medications I was taking. However, when I was able to take off for more than a couple of days from work I took the bus home to help relieve him so that he could visit his friends in south Texas. My sisters would also come on the weekends to assist while my brother was working.

A few weeks ago, he wanted help to find extra work and I had to guide him through every step of the process of filling out a job application for about three hours since his computer literacy is equivalent to that of a second-grade student. So while he says that I don't appreciate his assistance, he doesn't show me any appreciation in return and treats me with less respect than the neighbor's cat. If I inadvertently say one wrong word, it triggers his rage and I've literally had to spend hours walking in the rain at night to get away from his nastiness. He has yelled in my face ready to bite my nose off like a drill sergeant. On another occasion he wrestled me to the ground and tried to choke me with his hands around my neck. Due to the stipulations of my father's will I am in a situation where I would get kicked out of the house if I notify the law about his behavior. So I'm in a situation where I could literally end up homeless with only a few days notice.

A couple of weeks ago I woke up early with stomach discomfort and went to the bathroom. I told him what was up and asked him to clear out the laundry machine (which he uses as his personal clothes hamper). He had another conniption fit and was yelling at me through the bathroom door while I was on the throne. We have barely spoken with each other since then and when we do it inevitably leads to a fight.

I realize that I am a financial burden at this time, but I've also told him that I'm willing to let him have whatever portion of the proceeds that would be due to me for the sale of my father's house since he received the bulk of the cash after my father died. He could use his VA benefits to pay off the remaining portion of the mortgage, but he doesn't want to since he can't decide what he wants to do next in his life.

There is a lot of tension between us, but he will be nice to me when he wants help from me (the use of some of my possessions or working on the computer to purchase tickets, medical scrubs, online job-hunting, etc.). In addition, I do most of the housework around here since he is a slob. I'm surprised that he hasn't gotten food poisoning since he is too lazy to scrub a dirty dish or pick up the trash that he drops on the floor.

I know that I'm unloading a lot on this post, but I'm preparing for the worst situations and I don't know what lies ahead for the future. My job experience was in highly specialized areas and most of those positions were outsourced to other countries. It's doubtful that I will ever return to the same income level that I held previously, but I'm trying not to let my problems weigh me down. However, it's difficult to project any self-confidence or a positive attitude during job interviews when the situation is so miserable. Meanwhile, I keep plugging along hoping that something pleasant will occur in the future.

BTW, since you've said that you live in southeast Texas, avoid Gulf Coast Medical Center in Wharton at all costs. It's poorly managed and it may end up going down the tubes later this year. It received an "F" rating on the hospital scorecard at the end of last year.