You see the conspiracy was started by Newt Gingrich, in 1944. After fleeing from his top position in the SS (Himmler and Gingrich were buds) because he knew the Nazi ship was sinking, he emerged from his U-boat along the coast of S. Carolina to start a new life. Quickly blending into society as a combative conservative politician, der Gingrich had only one thing on his mind. If only he could start arbitrary civil conflicts in Latin America, then maybe, just MAYBE, he might be able to realize his dream OF constructing a moon base on Mars. From his moon base he would construct a giant Hitler mustache - turning the man on the moon into das Ferhrer on the moon.
The plan was simple, convince Nixon (A huge hippy at the time) to cut his hair and burn his grass. But, Nixon knew about this scheme way before hand cause Kennedy had told him everything in Morris Code, right before he left for Dallas. So he cut his hair and looked fantastic in the presidential debates that year and dominated the electoral college. But Nixon was an extremely jealous man. He felt that he was the original stoner and the king of psychedelic techno JAZZ, which all those pesky kids were trying to claim as their own. Moreover, he had been able to hide his true rebelliousness and pull off being elected president of the Free World. So he said, why don't we just spend billions on preventing drugs consumption IN a nation of extra cash and free time, to distract THE people from the Vietnam war. His plan worked perfectly, not only was he unable to stop people from using drugs, but he also succeeded in wasting over a trillion dollars doing so. Meanwhile he had distracted Newt Gingrich who was busy leaving wives and saying insensitive things. It took Newt up until a few years ago to finally come to his senses. One big wiff of glue reminded him of his original plan. Fortunately, Nixon had already told Reagan about Newt's plan via skype. So Reagan started a top secret project to create the perfect foil. His scientists took dna from a pig FARM and combined it with great hair; Mitt Romney was born.
His creation went on to make money off of other peoples money and bought Cadillacs in the Cayman islands to hide his nontaxable assets DERIVED partly from civil wars in Central America. But, the Cadilacs kept piling up and the islands eventually ran out of space. So he thought hard and long as he so often does. How would he be able to hide his MONEY quickly before islanders cried fowl to the whole world? He thought of all the good ways to waste money and FINALLY decided to become a politician. But his decision was no accident. Reagan's deregulation was engineered to eventually make running for presidential office a billion dollar endevour. This move was meant to entice Romney to JOIN the republican primaries twice, with THE sole purpose of foiling NEWT the second time around.
With Newt OUT of the picture, the moon's face was safe from Naziaization. Or so we thought. Newt was not about to throw in the towel just yet. He quietly made contact with an old buddy OF his, Heriberto Lazcano Lazcano whose humble startup had grown into the most vicious criminal organization in THE world. With Heriberto's help, the two would extort money from the Mexican public to pay for the ambitious moon project. Luckily, the central intelligence agency had already informed Barack Obama of the situation. The president looked into the gun CLOSET and shot Osama in the face. The message was clear, yet subtle. Stay off the moon newt or you'll end up like Bin Laden!
Ya that's all i was able to uncover for the day...
= new reply since forum marked as read