I've been selling my property, and looking for something that is nicer, to put it simply. It has been very difficult for me to find what I call a home. I see people who own these insane villas. Cars and houses. I'm looking for silence and beauty. In my dream I could have the material possessions, but I couldn't have the peace and beauty. And each day I woke up unhappy, unable to go outside and enjoy life. Then I saw the past. I saw the redwood forests before they had ever been logged. I saw people living in teepees. Tents. Not villas. And each day was glorious. Each day was what most people would call effort. Survival. But that tent was better than any villa because I had enthusiasm for each day that was free of cars and jet noise and all of the irritations most people aren't even conscious of.
For me, purpose is crucial. It's why I think that the notion of moving to another planet is absurd. I believe we are integral with all that is here. The butterflies, the wind, the sunshine in it's exact proportions.
I'm profoundly affected by the external world. I don't need hope, but I do need nature. I don't need meaning, but I do need the seasons.
But something else is happening to me now. And it's recent, and I don't know quite what it is. Depending upon what happens next, you may hear about it. I'm hoping to own a farm. So my long search could be coming to an end, at which time I may discover something behind that which I feel is so important. It seems like this conversation devolved a bit. But it's interconnected. As we grow in numbers, and use resources up, and even destroy the planet, we lose the things that support life. Bees. What I came away from the dream with was that anything that moves us away from nature will not be sustainable.