I am beyond pissed!

[Fearless]

13. Their actions do have consequences

I've had similar situations with family over the years, primarily my parents referring to my boyfriend (when I was in a relationship) as my "friend" all the time, and only when the subject couldn't be avoided entirely.

I did much the same you did and it came down to an ultimatum. I spent less time, particularly during holidays with them than I did with my (at the time) boyfriend's family who was accepting. Unfortunately sometimes these things do come up and imho it comes down to having to do what's right in your life. You can't always go along with everything family believes, sometimes you need to push back and push away when major conflicts arise. I hope that someday they come around and you'll all be happy together. In the meantime, don't stress over it and don't let it ruin your life.

In the end you need to live your life the way your heart tells you to and if they come around then great, otherwise they'll play an increasingly small role in it and they'll have to deal with that.