Its not about me, complaining. Just trying to sort out where I am....78 next month. [View all]

[3Hotdogs]

The virus is a good part of it..... lost my housemate in July. Three of us bought the house in 1982...raised our kids in it and lived it as kind of a commune. There was the fun of our kids and their friends over the house until they became adults and moved out. The kids (and grandkids) live close so I see them every couple of weeks.

The remaining two of us still live in the house and we get along quite well.

The good thing is, money is not a problem. I ain't rich but there is a hundred or two left at the end of the month. And I have no serious health problems.

Several of my friends, we would take road trips every year.... been doing that since '98. We all felt it was a good idea to stay home this year (and maybe next year, too). I haven't seen any of them since Christmas. We talk and email and so forth. No other really close friends.

Weekends are particularly hard. No place to go, little to do. Pick weeds, get out the weed-wacker, assemble the garbage and recycling. Go to the casino just to kill a couple of hours.

I guess it was yesterday that it hit me hard... I was driving down 78 and I decided to play the tunes I had downloaded on the iPhone over the past years -- songs I enjoyed in past. The Who, The Seldom Scene, Stones and so forth. I used to play them on car cassette while driving to Maine or Massachusetts or Vermont. singing along at the top of my lungs, the freedom of the open road.

I started playing the songs and it hit me, I forgot some of the words to songs I knew every word of.

What happened to that guy?

I don't know if I will go to New England again. Not fun going by myself. I used to go with my kids and then friends.

This is what is going through my head the past few weeks.. I can't figure out how to get joy back into my life.

3 HD