How do I explain to my son that racism is still going strong, especially lately? [View all]

[Tigress DEM]

Problem is that my son got in with a bad crowd and then got out. It was a very bi-racial group of thugs, but when he deals with anyone who resembles them he goes into this racist place and I go out of my mind because I did not raise him that way.

I support him refusing to hang with anyone of any color or stripe that does illegal and immoral things, but don't support him making it a race thing. There are people who behave badly in every race, don't hang with the bad ones.

Then he goes and says stupid stuff that sounds like he's beginning to see all "black" or "hispanics" that way even though he has a lot of positive friends of many colors. He "excludes" these friends from any bad stereotypes but acts like they are the exception rather than the norm. He'd rather not live in a "black" neighborhood because the last one he lived in had violent people there and to me that's more about not living in a bad neighborhood vs a black neighborhood. I'm sure there were some sketchy white people there too because it's more about poverty, lack of alternatives and anger than it is skin color.

He's had bad experiences in high school with Somali's being very rude to him when he was trying to be friendly. There actually was a group of Somali boys that were causing trouble, ganging up on people and beating them up. He has some idea that they got money to come to America so are somehow cheating him out of something.

His wife got discriminated at work by Hispanic managers. They made her work harder because she was white. Her co-workers did a job in 45 min but she was expected to do it in 30. They made her lift heavy boxes even though she has a high risk pregnancy going on, so it's really gotten personal lately. She got "let go" for medical reasons even though she has a doctor's permission not to lift over 20lbs right now.

His father in law has a racist mouth on him and so does his wife. I work hard to be nice about it with them, so they will listen to what I have to say, but with my son I revert to busting him a new rear end verbally. Called him ignorant, which at our table is like telling someone they are an "N****". Told him to STFU and not bring his racist garbage to my dinner table. Tried to give him examples of ongoing racism with the VOTER ID Laws and he starts talking to me like he's a Libertarian or a stupid rethug.

I know there is a huge parallel in the Jim Crow era and the current Voter ID laws that are being pushed out now. Is there any really good book about that time or source for information about that time? My son thinks he's informed because he knows about Rosa Parks and slavery chips. Sigh.

I did my reading on the Jim Crow era a long time ago and it's kind of been a constant "educate myself" for all the other "little ways" that prejudice and injustice creep in. I'm feeling scattered about trying to reach him not knowing where to start.

Lately it's such a landslide of political crap that it's hard to sort it out.

I know that banks have and some still may "red-line" people so they can't get into better neighborhoods.

Give me some examples or reading / online sources to get some facts to my son. I don't want to lose him to this awful monster of prejudice. I kicked his butt right out of being in gangs and dealing drugs. I'm glad he doesn't want to be in that space again, but I got to expect even more of him and help him rise out of this place as well... if I can. But at least I have to try.

Tig