I recently found out that a visitor to my home considers me a racist ...

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88. The word institution is not in the definition of racism...

I can see where you're coming from, but racism simply defined is:

rac·ism
ˈrāˌsizəm/
noun
noun: racism
1.
the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, esp. so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

There is 'institutional racism' and that's what you're using as the overall definition of racism.

I agree with your premise that it isn't racist to surround yourself with the cultural items associated with your own particular race, but minorities can be racist despite an inability to wield the authority to 'punish' members of another race.

It's an attitude toward others and not necessarily an action.