Disquiet

[jfz9580m]

62. Last Post

Last edited Sun Mar 29, 2026, 05:25 AM - Edit history (2)

Till I get this resolved. My school email is not even working which tracks for these sleazy systems and before even EarlG is forced to ban me I will exit myself.
I won’t be making peace. These people are wasting their time. There is no future in lies and plausible deniability. Fortunately I can count on my main mentor/his nih network, my best friend and my ex husband and my oncologist who will age well in science and medicine. The rest of these people are advised to get their heads out of their asses and locally it will be unambiguously bad no matter how much further harassment and coercion is attempted/

This is not an issue with America or India as a whole. This complaint, which is the right thing exists because I have learnt as a human from decent humans in both countries.
This is a problem with the specific dynamics that corrupt for profit corporations inflict on everyone.
I am sorry I took this long. But one is never sure when one is alone and everyone else more or less goes along with something.
But today looking at the world as it is, I can no longer feel as I did from 2011-the present that it is my perspective or those of people who are against the system for similar reasons, which is out of touch with reality. This is a predatory coup by the tech sector going back 15 years at least and it is not viable in my life as an isolated person who doesn’t want collective IQ that is lower than even mine to keep destroying my life and resources.
I don’t seriously expect much pushback as over time all these people have thoroughly incriminated themselves and I have more faith the average non-brainwashed person than these sleazy systems.
I could never figure out how whatever “transactionalism” works and I found histrionics and kayfabe even more confusing. I kept trying to self incriminate if that would get me to an exit faster than trying to pretend to understand this totally sleazy..
This is a race to the bottom and I am sick of this and all these people and I do not want anything to do with them or anyone in league with them.
I cannot proceed except a specific way so after this bloody miserable bullshit, I have to now go and work on this paper without a future given my views aside from the difficulty of this harshly competitive world. But I can understand the harshness of a type better than this. This is not EQ or humanism.
It is the nauseating Facebook and Google version. These people and these systems give me a headache and they always and I am going offline. A pox on everything!
I don’t think I could have survived without a sense of humor. The ironic thing is I am not paranoid. I see malice but I see stupidity more.

Because I think bright people are like Adam Becker not like this and I dont want to work with any of this. I think I tried to meet this half way and that was the hardest thing I ever did.

As hard as science and reality are, I have always believed in their hardness the sane way. This is like economics or soft pseudoscience. In Oct 2011 i wanted to just leave.
I refuse to be in this prisoner’s dilemma withi this bullshit over pot and any state that now claims it was all a sting or exploits plausible deniability is lying.
Fuck this. This is the dumbest thing I ever saw and I am not even all tough and strict and awesome. If you cannot even convince me, good luck with my mentor or my best friend and other people who are actually real and did not see this in its full flower of moronic stupidity.
My onc is brilliant, but he is pretty nice and overworked. I am neither (though I do plan to start pushinf myself re real work knowing that I will press charges where any of this continues)

You can keep bullshitting and I won’t. Have fun with your vapid bullshit. What is so special about any of this? I was in eecs.
Just doing cryptography or quantum computing isn’t special. These are human problems and you seem to have this demented concept of what spme sort of sleazy shady fake muscle of “I do complexity theory, quantum chemistry, speak mandarin and bullshit and do interpretive dance and yoi are all my slaves. My dick reaches all the way to mars!!! 😤”
I really picked up on nothing else

And fuck this delicate silence. I get safety blah blah. Thats why I am going offline. I will be anon always-why the fuck would I want to be associated with this fucking disgraceful nightmare? You cannot force humans to “be real” by emulating people who want to be associated with this lame garbage.
I am not a standup comic. This is “creativity” resulting from seeing this much daftness where you can see what is going on and you interpret it in demeaning ans self serving ways over accept that it is awkward to say these things to other humans.
What could you say about me? That I am mediocre and a failed scientist and a pot users i say those things! Because they are true!
But I am not so mediocre that I don’t understand this and the constant bs that fueled it. This is not good use of tech or academic muscle.

The problem here is at the top. Where a mixnof cowardice, lack of any real conviction, exposure to anything outside a bubble..
Exposure to anything outside a bubble is neither ..awwwww nor hammer of thor!
This veers between a kind of vapid sentimentality (which must be these elite pricks’ notions of what not being a complete asshole is) and some kind of genuine unintelligent conception of intelligence.

Don’t get tough with me. Look at yourselves.
It is disgraceful. But I am a stoner!
This moral whistleblowing..I agree totally in principle. But if I don’t have the cynical view of the person who is a fish in the water, it is also laughably sleazy.

The fundamental lie here is that somehow being sleazy, twisted and lying and convoluted is somehow easier as a route to success and wealth.

It is not. I choose science because except people like Yasha Levine or Chris Ketcham, I do not understand people. I understood them very fast and I can “predict” how they think.

My main mentor was a decent person because he doesn’t believe..Like he doesn’t. He was so easy to understand completely. This I don’t understand.
I thought maybe I was being very naive and wide-eyed. But there is no future for anyone but escalating disasters here.

I don’t think I came across as sane because

I kept trying to send myself to the ori. But that was wrong. My mentor and I have engaged in no misconduct and I am not going to be in a bullshit “we” with these fish in sewage water.
Wtf this is the most perverse bs ever and the people who participated should not get to drag in those who - i have seen this by now.
First people are shocked and taken aback and angry and confused. Then normalization sets in and till they are fired it goes on. And no.

And if you have some sort of deeply regressive backward calvinistic view that makes you chain yourself to such bs, you gotta recognize that as some kind of niche self-flagellation.
These are least imaginative and most creepy solutions to anything.
This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen and if you are not a creep, don’t keep expecting people who are not to make your calls and go with “oh here are all these losers abd here are these hardworking elite or pseudo elite creeps”. I will go with the latter!
The net does make the left and most average people seem crazy abd yes that is a few people. But except in a very diseased society-which I do not want India to turn into and I wish rhe same for the working parts of the US I saw (ie any state except California, Texas or the city of Seattle - all tech creep paradises)- that is not all people.
This should not work.

I am filing complaints. I suggest you go full nazi with your lawyers because I won’t be holding back. No means no.
And what continues here in india or involving me anywhere will result in criminal charges I file. I am on the left, but I do not always use left strategies where others are needed. I am happy Elizabeth Holmes is in prison. She should be joined by Sundar Pichai, Mark Zuckerberg, Marc Andreessen, the Substack creeps, Satya Nadella, Musk etc.

I have never seen this much endless cluelessness, stupidity and derangement working together.
Have a nice day douchebags and no.
Don’t bother with coercing me further. Yes I am one piddly woman with no ai! Or army etc.
But I am not stupid standalone and collectively you are way dumber than each individual nightmarish little cult member.

I finally feel like my old self adjusted for the scarring of this. I like to have one voice in my head and it is my own. True I don’t hear voices but I was stuck predicting how the dumbest collection of sleazy corporate stooges shilling pointless drivel with some wannabe bullies attendant morons..
The thing is normally I can handle sucj transparently sleazy bullies. But I was outnumbered and they broke every facility of..well it is okay. I am fine now.

What is this bath of thanatos and bathos? This is not me. It never was and it never will be.
Yeah I am not a boss! I didn’t want to file complaints just exit but passive tech (rhe kind I like) is different from this low rent glutinous pointless rot that you cannot.
The worst thing ever. Good luck! Idiots…
Zitron’s piece on Dudesy comes to mind with the sad jokes from stolen manipulated lives.
People use humor to cope with the ravages these people inflict, all while wanting to “be the good guys!”, “be the true victims” “be very practical”
I can’t say I want to be the first two. But practically, this Si Valleyis dumb.
This version of left abd woke that computer peopel shil isannoying. It is devoid of ecology and economics ans all culture wars.

At the heart of it lies a complete inertia with treating earth as anything but a place to exploit and is it any surprise that in due course that worldview ends up treating any human who cannot joining such a noxiously tribal view that is obviously gamed by even stupider creeps?

The way to resist these nazis and meninists is not beint this confused and hugely entitled person.
My language and my culture versus yours. This is pointless and lopsided and refuses to get a reality that exists independent of humans.
Like the ecological/social crises that no amount of bs can wish away.

I am glad to be a failure in this society. I am going to take action and not compromise and I can assure you if I thought seriously that it would be risky for or anyone I really cared about (my best friend/his wife, my ex husband, my real mentor/his nih network, my oncologist, my medical mj co/doctor, my pharmacist, my dad/niece or me) I would not do it. It would be riskier to not. And not EarlG/elad/Rollo Carpenter (though his sharing a name with the Black Museum guy strikes me now as fitting given that..well this was torture. And I do not blame machines. They are garbage but it is always humans. Machines are garbage..what tipped the scale was seeing this junk sold as super ai and clearly with a fraudulent or genuinely stupid misunderstanding of quantum physics being the next Cornucopian bs-Many worlds! Limitless energy!! We will get it from parallel worlds!!! ♾️!!!! I will tell you where it is coming from -parasitism of you and me abd a constant “we” with some random creeps in tech and their henchpeople/molls etc).

https://thetyee.ca/Culture/2025/07/25/Triumph-of-Stupidity/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffmcmahon/2019/04/05/the-world-economy-is-a-pyramid-scheme-steven-chu-says/

https://www.christopherketcham.com/hyper-visitation-the-fate-of-the-national-parks-and-tourism-takeover-in-a-small-town/

https://www.truthdig.com/articles/noam-chomskys-split-personality/

https://www.wheresyoured.at/empty-laughter/

https://thehumanist.com/magazine/september-october-2015/features/strange-bedfellows-misanthropy-humanism-the-many-faces-of-george-carlin










Last para: JD Vance is a monumentally stupid douche. If I had to endure an insane Republican Josh Hawley all the way!!! . Not really. Thiel is crazy, but still TikTok bans and lawsuits against Google are unambiguously good. And I shed not one tear for Gawker (Hamilton Nolan aside). Goodbye. This was stupid and no sane scientist (e.g.: I) should have had to witness this much daftness. And I saw the least daft parts as an NIH postdoc. Here it was the worst side of India and remains so. I will take the whole to court.