Disquiet

[jfz9580m]

63. I am Filing Allegations of Sexual Harassment, Misconduct in Human Subject Research and Malpractice in Psychiatry

It is official. I have decided that it is finally the right time to clearly state my intention of moving forward with serious complaints. As a complainant, I have the right to anonymity, especially given the daily gaslighting harassment locally. I am putting this up as a placeholder as I move forward inside the system. I will never formally come out as that is not my thing. Enough has been forced on me as is. These creeps won’t for free that as well. I have not done anything wrong.

(These last few posts are a work in progress. But I wanted to formally move forward. I have no other way to initiate this as I am working on a paper, sadly delayed by 14.5 years of hell. I am idiosyncratic enough a (mediocre) scientist that till it is complete, I cannot initiate this conversation with the one person I trust completely. Although I am never coming back to the US, the complaint involves the US).


I will put this in simple language. I cannot make it overly terse without some necessary information getting lost. I will write informally, while refraining from the profanity and perhaps slightly uneven tone that characterized earlier posts.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was taking a look at the Epstein list and seeing how many scientists are on that list. I do not recognize any names (though I have not gone through the whole - he really got around). Epstein’s reach is a real indictment on the prevalent attitudes towards women in these societies - he was so obviously an outrageously predatory man. I don’t understand how anyone who has any young women or girls they care about in their life could have even talked to that man. Lots of women in there too.

I have a strict zero tolerance policy on anything creepy. While arguably a bit subjective, it still is far from this difficult.

I am very fond of my own nieces and would be extremely saddened and angry were they to…well..anyway..I don’t want to think about my nieces in these disgusting contexts.

My own forays into viciously profane satire gave some relief to my feelings in this period. I was never a very “good girl” and I don’t tolerate creeps.

The past 14.5 years of creepiness plus political correctness (really liability consciousness without the slightest regard for women’s livelihoods, feelings or health in any serious way) have strained and thoroughly disgusted me.

Throughout this period I was cowed by the memory of the hypocritical pearl clutching over my own behaviors, while egregiously creepy and cultish methods were repeatedly forced on me.

It is this precise type of archaic bullshit that characterizes predatory systems and unhealthy networks - moral policing of women on the one hand and sexual and other forms of harassment and coercion on the other.
And there were plenty of women ably assisting these creepy systems.

There was so much of this hypocrisy where silently going along with a fusion of super creepy, tribal, all-sided self serving bullshit goes silently hand in hand with blatantly fraudulent “concern” about “language” and “professionalism”. Yeah fuck that. Those motherfucking cocksuckers can all suck my (nonexistent) dick.
Did I say something about not being profane? Famous last words! Lol..True to form, I was rebuked for playing Rammstein in lab as a grad student.

As of this date I am finally restored, as much as that is possible, to the woman I was in the July of 2011.

This is not really political. I post here because I used to be a DUer back when I was a grad student in the United States. Most importantly, I trust Dave (EarlG) which is why this is the only forum I use.
Some of my positions are classic lefty ones (unless you are the Chomsky or Ben Wray left and say trash like “MeToo hysteria” and that women’s rights remain “popular”. No way bro! That’s so cool!) and the others are uncomfortable ones for a type of dishonest human who rejects honest conversations about immigration. Anyway I am all for inclusivity towards creeps of all cultures!

But largely as I have indicated throughout in my other posts, I remain a frustrated humanist, rather than an outright misanthrope and never a cynic. Matt Cerami had a really neat piece on George Carlin that helped me understand my own conflicted views on misanthropy v humanism. Most of our media is shit. But a few reliably cool journalists/writers like Yash Levine and Christopher Ketcham and the stray on the nose piece like Cerami’s, Ruth Cain’s piece on how neoliberal damages one’s mental health and Alison Taylor’s on corruption made this endurable. Thank goodness for the rare decent writers and journalists. I am too doltish to work stuff out on my own.
And these assholes hobbled my own plodding path! I was horrified when what I thought was a routine job turned out to be some kind of lunatic’s hideous vision!

In spite of a nightmarish 14.5 years, the vast majority of the people I have met have had more of a sort of clueless stupidity and blindness rather than outright malice and it was an object lesson in witnessing the slow and ongoing slide of a society from at least moderate functionality to this over the last 20 years. I was in no way surprised by the overturn of Roe v Wade.

To get down to brass tacks, I will be filing allegations of stalking, harassment (sexual and other), exploitation, misconduct and malpractice against all state officials, technologists, data scientists, ai researchers, psychiatrists and any other people or professionals involved in a horrific experiment, malfeasance etc. in India.

I will also be filing allegations of serious misconduct in human subject research at Stanford University and in the City of Palo Alto, in the State of California.

I further allege that it is my suspicion that in any reasonably civilized sense, there is widespread misconduct in human subject research, ai, cryptography, security research, data science, brain mapping and healthcare.

This was in every way a violation of what used to be common sense norms in science, medicine and society so implicit that they should not have needed spelling out.

A lot of these are technically “intelligent” people fcs. They should not require a class to see why this is not in the spirit of science and medicine and that it violates common sense understanding of sexual harassment and civil rights laws, while putting honest women on the defensive.

My points are largely apolitical. In my observation, what passes for the left and for the right socialize and normalize corruption differently.
The asymmetry seems to be that the right is largely okay with dispensing with civil society altogether and returning to some sort of feudal warlord world. Whereas the left of this type is engaged in a more hypocritcal dance which I also do not understand.

This has been the hardest thing I ever tried and it was so worthless. But I had excellent colleagues and doctors and outside of this nightmarishly corrupt overlay on society that I alone see sometimes.


This in particular caught my eye as I am seriously alarmed by what I saw and see in India. I met a female pi from UCSD in the Sept of 2014 just after I was sexually harassed by a local Defense contractor with a holography company here in this creep run communist state I am in, in India.
I did not have a good feeling about her overall (which is how I have felt about most of the men and women I met in this period in both the US and India) and so much of this is about the deeply misogynistic cultures in the whole. Some of these people probably vote democratic (at least opportunistically if for no other reason.
Anyway this really creepy older Indian guy was the tipping point. These are cultures of creepiness and girlboss ambition and they are driving women’s rights backward and making life in general and stem jobs harder for decent women:

S. Ramachandran (also known as Vilayanur S. Ramachandran) is a director of University of California, San Diego's psychology department. In 2017, Deepak Chopra introduced Epstein to Ramachandran whose lab was conducting a study on an "autistic savant who displays telepathy". Ramachandran wrote that he had no problems accepting funding from Epstein, and desired $500,000 to $3 million. After lab visits, Epstein sent him $25,000

It is easy to dismiss a woman like me as paranoid when it is not as simple as an overt grope, though those occurred as well. But the aspect of the PanOpticon that was most hellish as an early victim of the same, is how the sheer sexually creepy aspect of many men of this type having way more access and control than they should and the shameful
silence of other men and women about it.
I am a card carrying MeToo supporter and it is finally time.

My main mentor was nothing like this. He is white and male, but he is one of the most supportive and egalitarian scientists I have ever met. It has given me the courage to move forward. My best friend, ex husband, mom and dad and oncologist etc are all the total opposite of this type I have been forced to endure since 2011.
I will write up and brief description about the whole tomorrow.

This is an excellent piece that has aged well:
https://scholarship.law.columbia.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1076&context=public_integrity

I will be filing the most serious allegations of malpractice in psychiatry coupled with endless misogyny against the Stanford Hospital.
I won’t be filing allegations against the lab I was working in, but I attribute the somewhat sexist and regressive culture to the postdoc mentor of the pi of that lab. He had a shitty paper I do recollect and he married his own postdoc which is a total red flag of unhealthy institutional culture.
That is who I attribute this to. This older white guy who is married to an Indian woman who was his postdoc. I always thought was kinda creepy. Otoh I had a friendship with a fellow postdoc who was two years younger than me and seemed like the least brainwashed cultist of the lot. But the sole “yes” from my side in that situation re engagement was initially initated without my permission and then as weirdly terminated. And in that hell it had the effect of those creepy Harry Harlow experiments.
This sleazy asshole of an Indian corporatist type of pi was responsible for that.

The hospital was grotesque, sleazy, incompetent and shills Reefer Madness to attack the credibility of female complainants.

This is these guys so you know what they are like:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-not-to-talk-about-sexual-assault-and-alcohol-courtesy-of-stanford_n_57bdd773e4b0287a6e73339b?origin=article-related-nonlife

i was an assertive woman and a mediocre if honest scientist going in. I was a nervous wreck by Dec 2011. Total assholes and creeps. I will post tomorrow about how the whole thing went.
That place and those people were so backward.

As of this date I am finally recovered and ready to demand methods in data science and all areas that bring back the standards we were used to.
I am filing stalking, exploitation, sexual harassment and other allegations about everything that occurred here in India after I returned.

I changed my icon from me ol’ pal Darwin because *kiss kiss* creeps. Guess what? Women drink, make raunchy jokes etc and that doesn’t mean it is “open season” - got it?
I liked me gal E Jeanne. She is awesome and funny. They tried to use my various inane scrawls which were mainly a middlefinger since I could not work in my field (the only thing from which I will ever make an income not being like these creeps and their bs “men who stare at goats” crap, a shit tonne of needless social engineering, bschool crap, llms, emotion and lie detection and other bs.
I work on real hard science. Mediocre-yes! Hey someone has to fill out that part of the curve!

Bullshit or fraudulent-never. I’d like to see these motherfuckers try to bully me over legitimately foul mouthed pushback when they quietly do all sorts of creepy shit. Just asking to be pantsed to sit around coyly kayfabing with this entire crew of creeps.

And constant pathologization. This won’t age well. It is time Stanford and these local creeps dealt with reality. I am going to the police in due course as a medical marijuana user who diys her own mental health solo with that and otc modafinil as the local mental health services are best case not a good fit and worst case as bad as Stanford. They just need to engineer situations to force grooming for normalisation and habituation of a creepy surveillance state while making perfectly sane women like me look crazy, gullible, oblivious etc. I notice a lot. I ignore it in disgust or sometimes amusement.

It is not goddamn rocket science. The loose associations driving the most third rate, unimaginatively contemptuos and hack-like take on complex human behaviours.
I had really become apathetic especially after losing my mom as these worthless technologies grew-so parasitic.
All these methods should be banned and the architects and participants charged.