lol@ your Thanksgiving report! Glad it was all worth it.
I definitely will have to give this podcast a listen because boy can I relate to what you're talking about!
I was raised Catholic and was a happy believer for a very long time. Indeed, during my darkest days, religion was a great comfort to me. I went on my intellectual quest, left religion behind due to it, and never went back. Since then of course there have been difficult times. I have looked back, longingly sometimes, to the days were religion was a comfort. Have openly admitted to myself that believing would be a lovely sensation. In spite of it all, I just don't believe and refuse to pretend otherwise--most especially to myself.
I don't have a SO to lean on in times of trouble & no parents. I have a couple of brothers who are of no help when needed (quite bogged down with their own troubles pretty much always), a couple of 20-something kids who are incredibly dear to (and currently staying with) me but I don't burden them with my troubles really. Of course I have friends & acquaintances but not quite the same as an actual partner in life so I go it alone. Mind you, this is not a complaint. 
When I have sentimental thoughts about belief (as mentioned, when hitting occasional rough patch) I usually just remind myself I'm a big girl with no "daddy" (sky, paternal or otherwise) and I will figure this out like a rational grown up. So that's what I do. Still, it is good to know I am not the only one who experiences this. Like you I envy the comfort the believer draws from faith and, also like you, I know it is not for me. It just cannot be. And that's ok.
In fact, it's wonderful! 
Julie
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