However, would you have thought that a person sending your Mom flowers once a month was an unreasonable thing?
And even if that was too much to handle because of all the things needing to be done and the person sent paper flower cards instead so that your Mom would not feel forgotten by the world, would that have ever made your list of reasons to ban them from the funeral?
Sure, if my Sister had offended my Aunt and it was her request, I would not be coming to her defense.
But this thought process and telling my Sister we aren't "real" family just seems like a power trip to protect the DIL. Maybe DIL is on the edge and needs protecting. I don't know.
I am a reasonable person and I know grief does crazy stuff to people.
Also, the DIL is still caring for her own Mom who is 84 and apparently someone in their household (probably my cousin, her husband, son of the Aunt who died) thought nothing of putting that additional burden on her, so everyone else gets to suffer for his lack of concern for his wife's health and well being. Which makes me wonder, why wasn't HE reading cards to his own mother? Why did his wife have to do it? Or their own kids. They have his-hers-ours going on... and all those kids were loved by the Aunt/their Grandma and could have showed up a bit more. Why was DIL alone in the burden to begin with?
Not my monkeys, not my circus, so I am clueless as to how that makes it all my Sister's fault.
But life is what is happening while you are making other plans. So what is there to do but the best you can?
= new reply since forum marked as read
