What Men Say About Women When They Think You've Never Been One

[MadrasT]

21. I agree that

most humans have a deep need for intimate connection with at least one other human.

I think a lot of the desire to find the "right" person is an unhealthy fantasy, but that is another topic. I also believe some humans are monogamous, and some humans are not, and that humans can be either, and do it ethically and in a healthy way. I know a number of polyamorous people who have multiple concurrent partners. Everybody knows about all the relationships with everyone else, nothing sneaky and no cheating is involved. On the other hand, I know for a fact that I am wired as monogamous and that has nothing to do with cultural conditioning, but it is just my constitution. (I don't personally have the emotional energy for more than one concurrent intimate relationship.)

ANYWAY...

...my BF and I were talking about this very thing recently... theorizing that maybe some men end up fixating on sex because it is the ONLY WAY they are allowed to be intimate and close to a woman. They can't be emotionally intimate or emotionally close in any other way because society views that as a weakness in men. So they end up being fixated on sex (which is about the need for human connection more than the need for the actual sex act in and of itself).

(That is all his theory, as seen from five decades of being a man, and a long time student of psychology.)