History of Feminism

MadrasT

(7,237 posts)

91. I am a female bodied person and I used to think the same thing.

Sun Feb 23, 2014, 11:34 AM

Feb 2014

It seemed like the feminists on this site were disagreeable and getting too worked up over stuff that didn't matter.

I thought I was *way* too cool and "with it" to let myself get bothered by sexism. I would just laugh and play along with the "the boys" so I could be the cool girl who was OK by them. (In real life more than on DU.)

Problem is... then I saw it... and realized what I had been doing... and what is seen cannot be unseen.

I used to think of women who objected as uptight humorless prudes, too.

Then (several years ago) I realized that I was selling out for cookies and pats on the head from men who I couldn't respect anyway because they had such a dim view of women, in general. So what if I didn't think I was like "those women" (the women they were trash talking) -- all women deserve better from society.

I don't even identify as "a woman" but people who do identify as women don't deserve that kind of treatment.*

Thanks for speaking out.

*I identify as nongendered.

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248 replies

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I used to think people in this group exaggerated the level of misogyny on this site... [View all] Bjorn Against Feb 2014 OP

There is a fair amount of misandry too.. pipoman Feb 2014 #1

This message was self-deleted by its author MadrasT Feb 2014 #4

If misandry was a serious problem I think that as a man I would have felt it Bjorn Against Feb 2014 #5

+1. nt Democracyinkind Feb 2014 #6

Quite a few women don't share the pipoman Feb 2014 #7

I don't think people who look at the swimsuit issue are necessarilly misogynistic... Bjorn Against Feb 2014 #10

And quite a few do. And have been very vocal about the fact that they do. And when I say Squinch Feb 2014 #12

Exactly. nt SunSeeker Feb 2014 #189

Please read about Edward Bernays, chervilant Feb 2014 #15

Interesting. I have "The Century of the Self" but haven't watched it yet. arcane1 Feb 2014 #151

Please, chervilant Feb 2014 #180

And there are "quite a few" ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #35

There are? merrily Feb 2014 #209

Clarence Thomas ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #211

I get your point about Thomas and, if I am honest, merrily Feb 2014 #246

Maybe, I exaggerated in ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #247

I think this line from your link hits the nail on the head: merrily Feb 2014 #248

..and Allen West does not believe African Americans have been discriminated against... hlthe2b Feb 2014 #39

I counted five BainsBane Feb 2014 #110

But, but, it was posted by a WOMAN! So the menz are not even involved!!1 PassingFair Feb 2014 #141

The real issue is whether a T & A photo belongs on a progressive political site pnwmom Feb 2014 #142

They've had at least three thread of HOT Celebs threads boston bean Feb 2014 #144

LOL. Yeah, it would be terrible if they got derailed into actually thinking. n/t pnwmom Feb 2014 #145

OMG.....I didn't even know those existed...Holy shit....it's even worse than I thought.... VanillaRhapsody Feb 2014 #202

spoken like someone who has never really felt either.... VanillaRhapsody Feb 2014 #154

+1 eom 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #26

thank you, bjorn against. I don't like anger directed at men either. What really roguevalley Feb 2014 #124

they think just saying "White Male Privilege" is "misandry" VanillaRhapsody Feb 2014 #153

LOL Sheldon Cooper Feb 2014 #13

and right on cue. . . . niyad Feb 2014 #21

No, that's just your privilege slipping away. paleotn Feb 2014 #24

'Bad for others = good for me' is flawed logic pipoman Feb 2014 #32

This line of argument is creeping into MRA ideology. boston bean Feb 2014 #85

OK Boston I could not agree with your more. proudretiredvet Feb 2014 #99

Instead of taking it personally that a feminist means boston bean Feb 2014 #108

that's exactly what I was thinking passiveporcupine Feb 2014 #175

but, if you direct your comment to an individual then that person alerts and Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #236

If it is meant as a personal insult passiveporcupine Feb 2014 #244

if the truth is insulting then perhaps that poster needs step back and review their own post Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #245

This same argument came up in a thread about white privilege. I am white. Strangely enough, Squinch Feb 2014 #226

Actually, it does ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #137

Pretending that I enjoy some privilege is closer pipoman Feb 2014 #148

It's about the whole of society. It's not about you personally. cui bono Feb 2014 #166

What's bad? ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #104

what is the definition of Privilege? VanillaRhapsody Feb 2014 #155

Who is this oh so privileged group? pipoman Feb 2014 #158

But ... But ... But ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #33

'I'm in the right' 'everyone with a different view is something best described pipoman Feb 2014 #38

It's not about a mere "different view" ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #46

Great response. +1 CrispyQ Feb 2014 #64

+++ hlthe2b Feb 2014 #68

. Squinch Feb 2014 #70

Thank you so much for saying that. boston bean Feb 2014 #78

.... ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #109

anything that will lower the staggering level of rape and abuse in this country roguevalley Feb 2014 #125

1StrongBlackMan, I think I have a new sig line. Thank you. roguevalley Feb 2014 #126

And when people pretend pipoman Feb 2014 #157

Pretend? ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #191

And when people in the privileged gender or race pretend they are not privileged, they Squinch Feb 2014 #222

:) BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2014 #162

Excellent explanation. N/t tooeyeten Feb 2014 #163

Would that I could recommend a post wryter2000 Feb 2014 #165

Oh so very, very, very well said. redqueen Feb 2014 #173

Excellent response! thucythucy Feb 2014 #192

Only to people who don't know what it is. nt geek tragedy Feb 2014 #41

Derailment tactic. boston bean Feb 2014 #83

And it, sadly, worked very well Lordquinton Feb 2014 #199

So in other words... Scootaloo Feb 2014 #103

I have a few reactions to your statement WhiteTara Feb 2014 #111

Nice repost, White Tara. I have Libra disease too in that I can see both sides as well roguevalley Feb 2014 #127

Thanks. Mostly I'm quoting the Dalai Lama WhiteTara Feb 2014 #128

that's alright, darling. Know thy self. Every thing you do is a revelation of your roguevalley Feb 2014 #130

... WhiteTara Feb 2014 #136

The Dalai Lama said "widdle feewings"?? Beartracks Feb 2014 #168

no...that was me WhiteTara Feb 2014 #177

I cannot tell you how many times... awoke_in_2003 Feb 2014 #152

How about some examples? amuse bouche Feb 2014 #186

... pipoman Feb 2014 #210

Sorry, you don't have a leg to stand on, for that one amuse bouche Feb 2014 #214

Stop. Just stop. You're not helping anything. Recursion Feb 2014 #204

The OP covered that. merrily Feb 2014 #207

I can only imagine that you will provide us with a valid ratio... LanternWaste Feb 2014 #225

You are too funny!!! bravenak Feb 2014 #227

I admit that it took me a long time to recognize what you are saying too and I am a woman and a seaglass Feb 2014 #2

I had the same epiphany a couple of years ago when the same shit went down. Democracyinkind Feb 2014 #3

I stop short at disbanding TMG. Other than that Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #8

+1 TexasTowelie Feb 2014 #131

My question is plantwomyn Feb 2014 #170

That was a poor word choice on my part. TexasTowelie Feb 2014 #182

There are many male regular participants in this group (History of Feminism--the largest of the 4) hlthe2b Feb 2014 #184

No, they absolutely do not exclude men. Please see my response to the other poster #184 hlthe2b Feb 2014 #185

Bjorn, I am a woman and I had pretty much the same trajectory as you when I got here. Squinch Feb 2014 #9

it is unfortunate that in our lives we only get to experience truly and fully roguevalley Feb 2014 #129

Thank you, Bjorn, for your support and for taking a stand, Tanuki Feb 2014 #11

One thing that this controversy has made clear is that Squinch Feb 2014 #14

Taking the time to look at the recs we recieve boston bean Feb 2014 #86

Same here... PasadenaTrudy Feb 2014 #31

Thank you for this OP. chervilant Feb 2014 #16

+1000 ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #123

Correct on all points. Starry Messenger Feb 2014 #147

That is something that's fortunately true. cinnabonbon Feb 2014 #216

im not awake enough to type coherently, but thanks BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2014 #17

just like racism, homophobia, misogyny heaven05 Feb 2014 #18

+1 Squinch Feb 2014 #22

+1000 JustAnotherGen Feb 2014 #29

Thanks much, Bjorn. "Misogyny is the last acceptable bigotry of the Left", whathehell Feb 2014 #19

Ditto (many thanks to Bjorn), and the Pollitt quote really does seem true frazzled Feb 2014 #62

++++++! BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2014 #164

thank you very much for your support. I would expect that you will receive a lot of flak for this niyad Feb 2014 #20

Hearing from those whose eyes have been opened by recent DU activity... hlthe2b Feb 2014 #23

Thanks, I will let Skinner know my views. Bjorn Against Feb 2014 #51

I agree, Bjorn. closeupready Feb 2014 #25

K&R Solly Mack Feb 2014 #27

Thank you PasadenaTrudy Feb 2014 #28

To be frank, I have always found DU to be misogynist to a point but not Cleita Feb 2014 #30

You missed the Point, the objection, the whole 9 yards! packman Feb 2014 #40

FYI the swim suit edition of SI has always been posted on DU in the past. I've been here since 2003 Cleita Feb 2014 #45

"Faux outrage"? MadrasT Feb 2014 #55

Evolution is a good thing! CrispyQ Feb 2014 #76

Don't bother, trying to explain how these pictures, no matter how "artistic", harm real young women KitSileya Feb 2014 #61

Yes, comments from my senator about running for office: seaglass Feb 2014 #63

The explanation that is being floated in another thread is that someone called someone a Squinch Feb 2014 #65

This message was self-deleted by its author Orrex Feb 2014 #82

Then you should have alerted... Coming in here to smear posters in this group with hlthe2b Feb 2014 #84

This message was self-deleted by its author Orrex Feb 2014 #88

Then you are merely coming here to make insinuations & stir trouble. Kindly stop it. hlthe2b Feb 2014 #90

This message was self-deleted by its author Orrex Feb 2014 #93

You are in a group with specific SOP for participation, which includes civil discussion. hlthe2b Feb 2014 #94

Whoops--thought this thead was posted in GD. My error. Orrex Feb 2014 #96

I understand... Thank you for your cooperation. hlthe2b Feb 2014 #97

Hlthe2b, I didn't see Squinch Feb 2014 #150

no problem... hlthe2b Feb 2014 #156

was that about what I think it was about? Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #237

This message was self-deleted by its author hlthe2b Feb 2014 #240

so sick of this shit, Squinch. is this about what I think it is about? Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #238

Yes. You saw it already. I just can't believe that was given as the reason Squinch Feb 2014 #241

thank you. Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #243

No one is saying you are not adult enough to look at the pictures Bjorn Against Feb 2014 #43

Why can't people use the trash thread and ignore button? Cleita Feb 2014 #52

Why do you think the photos are appropriate for GD? Bjorn Against Feb 2014 #54

Perhaps you'd like to take your own advice for this thread? n/t MadrasT Feb 2014 #57

Why would the outrage be phony? What would be the desired result of that? cui bono Feb 2014 #198

Many women of my generation... hlthe2b Feb 2014 #44

I am respectful when I post, but when I don't get respect I will give back in kind. Cleita Feb 2014 #48

Consider this a warning. n/t hlthe2b Feb 2014 #49

Consider this a warning. Don't make threats. n/t Cleita Feb 2014 #53

Please stop JustAnotherGen Feb 2014 #56

Why did you come into this protected group to spew your shit? Sheldon Cooper Feb 2014 #67

^^The poster has been blocked from this group^^ hlthe2b Feb 2014 #71

Thank you. Sheldon Cooper Feb 2014 #72

Bullies playing the victim. It's always the same schtick. Sad that it seems to be working for them. Democracyinkind Feb 2014 #77

Yes, I really appreciated being told that harassment was my fault, KitSileya Feb 2014 #79

Sorry you had JustAnotherGen Feb 2014 #92

Thank you. spooky3 Feb 2014 #100

And under what circumstance does that allow you to accuse a rape victim of lying boston bean Feb 2014 #89

Look at your first sentence. You are applying the wrong standard. spooky3 Feb 2014 #95

This message was self-deleted by its author cleanhippie Feb 2014 #98

Obviously, these results say far more about spooky3 Feb 2014 #101

Actually hosts enforce SOPs BainsBane Feb 2014 #114

Thanks. It would be helpful if this spooky3 Feb 2014 #116

what I do in such cases BainsBane Feb 2014 #117

Thanks. I'm just saying it should be easier to find spooky3 Feb 2014 #118

This message was self-deleted by its author cleanhippie Feb 2014 #119

If you were not willing to read the alert spooky3 Feb 2014 #120

^^The poster has been blocked from this group^^ hlthe2b Feb 2014 #121

Thank you. spooky3 Feb 2014 #122

Thank you Bjorn. sheshe2 Feb 2014 #34

The 'mens' Group is mis-named... It is truly the MRA Group... Ohio Joe Feb 2014 #36

In fairness, there's hot celebrity fantasies too. nt geek tragedy Feb 2014 #42

LOL! ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #112

Which generate more responses thucythucy Feb 2014 #194

Interesting how it is men who are the ones pointing that out, and who, understandably, Squinch Feb 2014 #66

It sure is not 'The Men's Group' and it is very much misnamed. Bluenorthwest Feb 2014 #75

My sense is 98% of the men on this site feel the same BainsBane Feb 2014 #115

I agree wholeheartedly! justhanginon Feb 2014 #146

+100. nt geek tragedy Feb 2014 #221

This message was self-deleted by its author My Good Babushka Feb 2014 #37

So let's post porn and snuff movies, then, right? Democracyinkind Feb 2014 #47

No, I know, let's post blackface minstrel shows, and "sh#m%le" porn. KitSileya Feb 2014 #59

It's really mind-boggling. They don't even realize that they're arguing for anarchy. nt Democracyinkind Feb 2014 #60

This message was self-deleted by its author My Good Babushka Feb 2014 #134

Just how GOP Governor Corbett talks about mandatory vaginal ultrasounds Divernan Feb 2014 #73

This message was self-deleted by its author My Good Babushka Feb 2014 #135

Thank you JustAnotherGen Feb 2014 #50

It's good of you to come out and say that. Whisp Feb 2014 #58

it is important that the men of DU stand up and speak out. nt. Warren Stupidity Feb 2014 #69

It has become quite blatant etherealtruth Feb 2014 #74

Thank you. TDale313 Feb 2014 #80

Very nice. boston bean Feb 2014 #81

This is the positivity of all the negativity, CrispyQ Feb 2014 #87

I am a female bodied person and I used to think the same thing. MadrasT Feb 2014 #91

I could just hug you right now. Thank you for this post. Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #239

From a quiet member MostlyAmused Feb 2014 #102

Thank you for speaking up. spooky3 Feb 2014 #106

Thank you for your comments. I hope you feel comfortable in this group. n/t hlthe2b Feb 2014 #107

Thank you ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #105

Thanks Bjorn Against WhiteTara Feb 2014 #113

Humongous KR ... nt MindMover Feb 2014 #132

You are my kind of man. Hell Hath No Fury Feb 2014 #133

Harassment of women here became a big issue Warpy Feb 2014 #138

well said! BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2014 #167

That's too bad. KitSileya Feb 2014 #171

Yes, exactly. MadrasT Feb 2014 #176

+1 historylovr Feb 2014 #232

+999999999999999999999.9999999999999999999999999 AAO Feb 2014 #139

Bjorn Against BainsBane Feb 2014 #140

I just made a new post in the ATA forum Bjorn Against Feb 2014 #172

I agree that the support has been encouraging BainsBane Feb 2014 #178

You made it to the greatest page... Agschmid Feb 2014 #188

One intelligent, thoughtful post like this makes up for dozens by the knee-jerk nasties. Thank you! pnwmom Feb 2014 #143

the 97 recs help too BainsBane Feb 2014 #149

Absolutely! TDale313 Feb 2014 #159

It looks like it BainsBane Feb 2014 #161

I can't thank you enough wryter2000 Feb 2014 #160

OPs like this confirm my instinct sufrommich Feb 2014 #169

Comparing HOF to the MG A-Schwarzenegger Feb 2014 #174

a quote that needs to be kept and put on repeat DonCoquixote Feb 2014 #179

What would DU be without the drama Gman Feb 2014 #181

Misogyny, like racism...... DeSwiss Feb 2014 #183

Well said! blackspade Feb 2014 #187

I'm so encouraged by your support and that of so many UtahLib Feb 2014 #190

Don't fall for it. It's always the tiny handful of right wingers posing as DUers posting this trash Sarah Ibarruri Feb 2014 #193

Cheers. kickysnana Feb 2014 #195

Very well state. Thanks. n/t freshwest Feb 2014 #200

Noob says he went and scanned the mens group. fleabiscuit Feb 2014 #196

It's flourishing in GD as we speak BainsBane Feb 2014 #197

That's why it doesn't matter if the group goes away. fleabiscuit Feb 2014 #219

Thanks for a thoughtful OP. I blow these off as hopeless, usually. And appreciate this. n/t freshwest Feb 2014 #201

Is it misogyny or perhaps Sherman A1 Feb 2014 #203

It is misogyny in a lot of cases. Sheldon Cooper Feb 2014 #212

K&R emsimon33 Feb 2014 #205

Thank you so much. myrna minx Feb 2014 #206

A lot of the misogyny seems to come from those who lean right in general. merrily Feb 2014 #208

Some also seem to be the same people who get sufrommich Feb 2014 #213

you noticed it, too. Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #215

K&R. I agree completely. The recent nonsense has been pretty eye-opening. DanTex Feb 2014 #217

I saw your post in ATA. The future looks grim. n/t Whisp Feb 2014 #218

Thank you for this OP and your question in ATA. DURHAM D Feb 2014 #220

K&R! hrmjustin Feb 2014 #223

SKINNER: "So we're genuinely conflicted. Do we lay down the law, A-Schwarzenegger Feb 2014 #224

Thanks, I was at work so I was unable to provide a response to Skinner right away Bjorn Against Feb 2014 #229

Your response was thoughtful and well presented. MadrasT Feb 2014 #230

Amen. A-Schwarzenegger Feb 2014 #231

I think your insight about where juries fail was spot on. A very thoughtful post. Thanks. n/t seaglass Feb 2014 #233

Yes thank you from me as well. RBStevens Feb 2014 #234

That was an outstanding response. Sheldon Cooper Feb 2014 #235

Thank you for that reply and also thanks for the OP in GD. Thank you. Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #242

Thank you, sir! bravenak Feb 2014 #228