REAL BOYS by WILLIAM POLLACK, PH.D.

[seabeyond]

2. i think you and i

just like human behavior. we probably should have been psychiatrists or sociologists.

for whatever reason, i have had mostly boys/men in my life. i had my mom and a couple nieces. but then i have two sons, 5 nephews, husband, father and two brothers. i am a bit of an isolationist so not much more in my life. being a competitive swimmer growing up, i was around more of the boys than girls. and the girls i was around were a competitive, aggressive lot at that, lol.

what i found raising boys is letting them guide us as parents and they will inevitably tell us what they need. what i learned very early on is that their needs were no different than a baby girls needs. i have always had more cuddlin' going on with little boys..... well, the little girls cuddled, too. so much in the raising was no different, when we allowed a boy to be authentic to himself. and now that the boys are older, i see that their masculinity is in tact, well defined by themselves, and are healthy and grounded. i want this for all our boys. it would behoove all of us. the same that i want for our girls not to see their worth in their appearance and to own their sexuality, not hand it to the boys.