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RAFREE

RAFREE's Journal
RAFREE's Journal
January 26, 2014

How did you become an expat?

I married a Canadian 30 years ago. At that time I was just a babe in the woods and of course being young thought my options would always be wide open. His parents were twenty years older than mine and his father was dependent upon him for care. I didn't feel it would be morally right for me to ask him to move thousands of miles south to the U.S. and thought "Well, once his parents pass away we can just move to the U.S. or if we have a child I would want to raise him near my family."

Fast forward. Child is born about eleven years in with serious multiple health issues. Uh oh...I'm in Canada with great health care while my son is in intensive care. We never got out of the health care woods and all my family in the U.S. advised us to "just stay there, you will be bankrupted here with the care he needs"

AND that's it. It became very clear with my spouse not being American and having no job in the U.S. and with my sons health care that we'd stay here. Life just unfolded that way.

What issues have you had as an expat being an American Abroad?

When I came here Americans were roundly pretty much universally at least disliked if not outright hated. My own mother in law was appalled her precious was marrying an American! LOL I had to win her over.

I experienced quite a few nasty situations...school teachers to my son upon learning I was American at times were not very nice.

A nurse at the hospital when my son was born made it VERY clear she resented my being there.
Another nurse when I had surgery once was very rude about my being an American.

At those times it was quite odd since I'm very, very liberal and do not usually agree with MANY of the things the U.S. government does. I tried to be representative in a positive manner finding this "free ambassador" role odd for me to deal with. Volunteering in my community with other liberal orgs such as Interval House was challenging in that those groups particularly did not care for an American amongst them. There was a "prove yourself" attitude. Guilty until proven innocent of being an "exceptional imperialist"

Then there was the relatives back home. One of them thought I had ceased to be American because I had lived abroad so long! There's a suspect attitude back home about expats in general. We were all raised with it. Lots of myths about expats and not many facts about who they are.

The positive aspects of being an expat are that you get a different world view. The U.S. can be very, very myopic in their world view. Pretty narcissistic "It's all about ME!" It's quite an eye opener living outside the borders and quite an opportunity to change your worldview and see things how others see them. I've expanded the way I see the U.S. and the rest of the world.

I've also seen the positive in having good social safety nets, health care programs which are not insurance company dependent. I have less stress than I would have at home due to these safety nets. Less crime, better assurances, if I get cancer or someone in my family is seriously ill my first and enduring thoughts will not be "How will we afford this?" I've seen education valued in a different and better way.

Most of the Americans I meet here are here due to marriage or family. OR the are "border babies" who don't really consider themselves American just because they were born thirty, forty years ago in a border hospital.

Some choose this life, move for a job and others just find themselves with life circumstances that cause them to live abroad long term. Short term expats have a totally different experience I find from long term expats. Positive outcome? Negative?

There are seven million of us! What's your story? Aide worker? Expat teacher? Family abroad? Marry a foreigner? Go to school overseas and stay for work? Long term? Short term?

Profile Information

Name: Ruth
Gender: Female
Home country: Canada
Current location: Ontario
Member since: Tue Dec 3, 2013, 07:07 AM
Number of posts: 34
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