The “I Shutdown the Government and All I got was this Hillary 2016 Tshirt” is the newest DC trend

Deep breaths everyone. It's political satire, but when we see REAL quotes like these:

“We’re not going to be disrespected,” Rep. Marlin Stutzman (R-Ind.) told The Washington Examiner. “We have to get something out of this. And I don’t know what that even is.”

and

“Now that we’ve jumped off the cliff, lit ourselves on fire, we’ve entered the valley of death,” said Rep. Devin Nunes, R-Calif., who has criticized the conservatives’ strategy. “So now we’ve got to keep running and we have to hold together.” - See more at: http://nationalreport.net/hillary-clinton-thanks-house-gop-hillary-2016-tshirts/#sthash.K6KsvURL.dpuf


Things look hopeless. One thing that would make it better is getting people back to work. Hang tough out there, we're all in this together.

Toe Cracking like Cats and Dogs

I have a one dog, two cat home. The kids love cats and ol' Mom (me) loves everybody, but has a special affection for dogs.

The dog is a silky terrier mix. The cats are cats, firm in their righteous rejection of breeding and tribal labels. Everybody has a high prey drive and sensitivity to squeaky mouse noises. I sometimes feel like a shepherd to a small flock.

One of the things I've noticed is that when "the herd" is at peace they all have the same body language. Cats and dogs don't really have the same body language, but living together has given them some common non-verbal phrases. One morning greeting habit is particularly interesting.

In the morning, everybody likes to enter the kitchen and crack their toes as a greeting. In yoga this would be the downward dog pose, a deep elongating stretch of the spine. Both cats and the dog will do this purposeful bow to the others while adding an exaggerated leg kick that seems to send energy down the length of the body through the toes.

I’m quite sure the limitations of human ears keep me from hearing an audible crackling as those paw toes are spread and stretched.

The result can be contagious. Once one member of the herd begins this ceremony, the others seem drawn to repeat it. Once the cycle is complete, everyone seems relaxed and agreeable to personal body sniffing.

Has anyone else seen similar behaviors?
Is it wrong to feel a little jealous about being able to stretch like this every morning?
Anybody know how to crack their toes?

Here in Southeast Missouri, I really want to scream

On Thursday I took the kids to the beauty salon for haircuts. One of the beauticians was telling her client in a very loud voice that she just got a new gun. Like a new pair of shoes or the latest whatever, she "couldn't wait to use it" and hoped that "someone would try to steal change from her car." My first thought was this person has no business with a gun. My second was who do I report this to so she doesn't harm someone?

We all know about what happened on Friday.

The seven flags in front of the Gun and Pawn store are at full mast. An adult novelty, video and book store is also housed in the building, so the property isn't really about kids or anything. I think it is pretty low. They were not lowered all weekend. They are at full mast today.

My faith in humanity and my community is pretty low right now, not that it was that high to begin with.

I'm tired of shaking my head, lowering my eyes and shutting my mouth.

The right to own a gun is not paramount to the rights of others for a fair trial. Liberty is not a license to kill. Freedom of speech, like refusing to lower your flags in reverence to victims of violence or announcing your crazy intentions to shoot someone, anyone is just really stupid.

Thanks, just had to express this somewhere.

2012 White House Christmas Card - Are these people serious?

Are these people serious? Found on Stumble Upon.




2012 White House Christmas Card Sinister Symbols Revealed

LOL Fancy Chicken Coops

Should We Stop Enjoying the Conservative Cry Porn, So Much?

An obvious satire troll, but still fun!

"Liberals have no personal responsibility when it comes to the pain they have heaped on the American conservative with this election. Shouldn't everyone be given a ribbon and made to feel special in their new Liberal America?"

Also a hit on Rachel:

"Like some pixie headed bandleader, Maddow has whipped the left into a stampeding frenzy of a billion trampling bunny feet over the morally righteous."

http://dailybleach.com/liberals-must-stop-enjoying-conservative-cry-porn-including-rachel-maddow/

My questions:
How long are the conservatives going to cry about the election?
When will they evolve? (If they evolve...)
Is it wrong to enjoy seeing all the tears?

Got a Call from the Todd Akin Campaign

Deep man voice wanted to speak to the husband. Would not talk to me and my magical uterus.

By the power of Greyskull, I told him he had the wrong house.

Why are they campaigning / obviously cold calling to homes in Southeast Missouri? This puzzles me, unless they are just desperate for volume. I see very few McCaskill signs, but know a lot of people that plan to vote for her.

Just interesting, Akin will loose.

Dog Food Breakfast Makes Kids Smarter, Say University of Kentucky Scientists

Reporting by the BBC noted that “Studies demonstrating that children do better in cognitive exercises when they have eaten breakfast led Dr Miller to wonder if a breakfast would also improve performance by dogs”. Dr. Miller’s recent study answers that question by giving kids dog food for breakfast.



http://dailybleach.com/dog-food-breakfast-makes-kids-smarter-say-university-of-kentucky-scientists/

Hiya, everyone

I'm new to DU. I've read on and off for a while and finally decided to take the plunge and create an account.

I describe myself as a progressive, but that is a pretty broad term these days. I'm a mom, a wife, hillbilly, knowledge-is-power-Kindle-freak, dog lover, cat lover, tree-hugging nature lover with green eyes. That last part is important because so often on the internet we forget the person on the other end of some acerbic comment is a living person. I can't say I always remember that, but I appreciate being reminded.

I'm detoxing from a 15+ yr career in finance (BA, MBA). (Big thanks to everyone that made my education possible.) It's a nice way of saying I've given up the corporate politic and missed Kindergarten graduations for life well lived. I'm a liberated lady, but the support system just isn't there for me to have it all right now.

I tend to write satire when I'm frustrated. I'll try to keep that activity to relevant thread topics.

My avatar quote "Pants flavors the prepared mine" comes from bank checks that were misprinted. I intended the quote to be "Chance favors the prepared mind." It is a gentle reminder to me that automated customer banking services will never replace a real person. Also, nothing is foolproof, deal with it.

DU, more specifically the people that contribute to it, refreshes my soul. Thanks in advance.

SEMOVoter

Okay, when Cheater-Gate hits the mainstream, what excuses can we expect to see on Letterman?

Okay, when dirty debate Cheater-Gate hits the mainstream, what creative explanations can we expect to see on Letterman for this?

Top Ten Things that Mitt Romney Most Likely Was Hiding on the Podium During the 1st Presidential Debate:

10.) It's a sam'mich, delicious flat panini sam'mich because of low blood sugar.
9.) Pokemon trading cards, a good luck gift from Herman Cain
8.) Business cards of investors that will bail on further campaign contributions if Mitt "doesn't ring the bell" during the debate.
7.) Dirty playing cards. All the hearts are missing, because reasons.
6.) Inspirational quotes from Ann. Now scented with victory, rude interruptions and aggression.
5.) Cell phone wrapped in a kerchief so Paul Ryan can listen in.
4.) A package of flattened zingers. Raspberry is very good, but Little Debbie is always a fav in the heartland.
3.) A teeny-tiny copy of 10 years of tax returns.
2.) Neatly folded amended return that corrects contributions and overpayment of taxes in 2011.

and the number one thing that Mitt Romeny most likely was hiding on the podium.....

1.) A chick fil a job application for Big Bird.