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Member since: Wed Mar 3, 2004, 08:03 PM
Number of posts: 53,034

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Brides' wedding was ruined when videographer walked out before vows

For folks who wonder why us LGBT people care when videographers, photographers, bakers, and other businesses discriminate against us, please read this article.


A Charlotte videographer who had contracted to capture images of a wedding this month in Hendersonville walked out as the ceremony started when he realized the couple getting married were both women.

Bride Clarissa Templeton said Seth Curlís sudden departure ó without speaking to anyone at the event ó was devastating to her and her now wife, Teegan Bullock Templeton. It cast a pall over their once-in-a-lifetime moment and left them with no professional footage of their vows, though they had paid in full for the service.


As she was selecting vendors for the wedding, Templeton said, she was careful to search for LGBTQ-friendly businesses and as she talked to their representatives, made sure they knew she was planning a same-sex wedding.

Templeton did that, she said, ďBecause of where I live and how Iíve grown up and the people Iíve been around, the things I have experienced from people who donít know me, because of who I love and who Iím with.Ē

Good Friday - my annual perplexity

Note: This post isn't really about religion. It's about the long-standing misconceptions, hypocrisies and gaslighting that is woven into our nation's culture. These fallacies led directly to the January 6 insurrection and many other terrible events in our history.

I grew up in the rural midwest in the mid-20th century. My community was a homogenous culture made up almost entirely of white Christians, mostly fundamentalist Protestants, including a significant number of rather extreme sects.

Every year on Good Friday, which was not a holiday, the schools were full of the annual accusation that "Jews killed our Lord." This made no sense to me on multiple levels. My understanding was that Jesus willingly sacrificed himself in order to assuage the sins of humanity and assure our passage to heaven. Without this willing sacrifice, the plot doesn't move forward. The whole point revolves around the willing - albeit initially reluctant - self sacrifice. Therefore, our Lord killed our Lord. And on the practical level, it was the Romans who carried out the execution, and they were pagan (later Christian). So the Jews in Jerusalem (who didn't in any case represent all Jewish people, any more than the scary white inhabitants of New York City represented all white people in the minds of the fearful white rural citizens of my childhood), seem to have played a minor role in the whole thing. (Other than the fact that Jesus himself was Jewish, which would seem to elevate the status of Jews, if anything.)

Nonetheless, anti-Semitism and bizarrely irrational accusations against Jewish people persist today, especially in predominately white fundamentalist rural communities in the U.S.

Many members of those communities weren't rational 50 years ago and they're not rational now. They cling to their hateful and fearful beliefs even when they make no rational sense. Their fears and resentment are skillfully exploited by marketers, politicians and other hucksters. Our democracy might not survive this level of meanness, gullibility, and intellectual laziness.

I finally cut ties with a lifelong acquaintance today.

I have posted about him before. We met in preschool and grew up in the same small town. We were very close friends growing up, despite his issues with drugs and alcohol beginning at a young age (preteen). He identified as highly progressive, very far to the left. Nobody else was as liberal as him, according to him. The rest of us were posers.

I've been reluctant to cut him out of my life entirely because our families were very close. I now see that this was a mistake. It's never a good idea to tolerate ongoing abuse, and I did for too long.

Twenty years ago I limited our contact to email due to his abusive alcoholic behavior. (When he had my old landline, he would call me in the middle of the night, over and over, screaming abuse.) Ten years ago I set his emails to spam, as during his alcoholic episodes I could receive a dozen rage-filled emails in one night. Over the years, I sporadically read his emails and very rarely responded. Responses triggered a torrent of personal attacks on me and my family, mixed with conspiracy theories and bigotry.

Over the past five years ago the bigotry accelerated. Deeply misogynist, racist, homophobic. Describes female politicians, in particular, as "reptilian" and other extremely dehumanizing terms. Still claimed to be super-progressive, of course.

Since the election he's sent some emails about the election being stolen, although he pretends not to support Trump (despite sounding just like him). Today, after the events on Wednesday, his emails were the last straw. There is no room in my life - not even my spam folder - for this. Nope.

I sent him a brief email stating that I think he knows the facts but chooses to ignore them because his deeply held belief is that Trump should have been re-elected because the only votes that matter are those of white men and maybe white women. I told him not to contact me again. I'll never read an email from him again.

Looking back over the 50+ years I recognize now that he's been an abusive overbearing bully since we were kids. I'm sorry it took me so long to recognize it.

Does this mean that Bill Barr won't get his COVID shot?

Maybe he should have hung on long enough to get his White House shot.

I don't think that Trump will be in the White House by Jan 20

I don't think he'll resign early. He'll just leave at some point. He and Melania won't be there to greet Joe and Jill. Trump won't attend the inauguration. He'll pack up and sneak off sometime before Jan 20.

Trump is the ultimate sore loser.

What a baby! They spied on me wah wah wah...

Let him talk! The more he says the worse he's doing!

I voted! Correction from earlier....

My wife and I voted by absentee ballots, which we mailed about a week ago. We checked the online ballot tracker and it says our ballots have been accepted at our county board of elections.

Two more votes for Biden and all the Democratic candidates running in North Carolina.

Have you voted yet? If so, post here. We need to hear encouraging news.

Chris Wallace is pathetic.

We can't stand them either.

As I watch instance after instance of obnoxious white women calling the police on black people who are simply minding their own business, I recognize a familiarity.

These are the same mean girls I couldn't stand in middle school. They're the same entitled prissy white women who lived on my dorm floor in college (and got the nice black custodian reassigned just because... yeah, we recognized that you were a stuck-up racist way back then).

They're the same pushy bleach-blonde moms who complained endlessly about the teachers at our kids' schools - and always signed up to be a chaperone on the band trips because it fed their Little Hitler complexes. Guess what. My kids couldn't stand you either. The band director couldn't stand you, the principal couldn't stand you, and the rest of us parents tolerated you just to be polite.

And you're the woman I tried to be friends with in my neighborhood when our kids were toddlers because my son liked your son, but the way you whispered "black people" and referred to "those people" meant that it was always going to be impossible for us to be friends.

I didn't realize that you were walking through life harassing black people - although the incident with the custodian in college should have been a big clue - but now that I know, I'm not surprised.

And I recognize that it's up to me and every other white person to start calling you out on your racism. I regret not having done more in the past. The time for polite assumptions of good will is over. Now I see what you do when you think the country club set isn't watching you.
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