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Profile Information

Gender: Female
Hometown: CA
Home country: USA
Current location: NC
Member since: Wed Aug 17, 2005, 01:29 AM
Number of posts: 27,087

About Me

I stand on the sand, and I'm rocking grief to sleep in my arms.

Journal Archives

I've used up all my hearts.

It was fun. I gave to people I hold in the highest regard here on DU and on posts I agreed strongly with or was impressed by the concise and thoughtful language of a post I believed was important.

I have enjoyed it. DU is my valentine - I really don't observe the date except to maybe call my son and make sure he's done something special for his fiancee.

thank you to everyone who took the time to give me a heart.

well, shit.

My oldest grandson just Duo'd me to let me know he's got covid. He lives with his mother, her boyfriend, and his little sister, and they all have it.

My youngest grandson and his girlfriend had it a month or so ago.

i feel the clock ticking away...i'm 66 years old, obese, high BP, etc, etc. this fucking virus is insidious. It feels inevitable, but I'm staving it off for as long as I can. Maybe if I evade it for long enough, the hospital won't be too crowded to fit me in, the meds will be available, my vaccines and boosters will prop me up, and I won't die.

guess we'll find out. I still know a lot of people who have not had it, but with every day it seems I know more and more who have.

Triangle people!

Are we about to get a decent winter storm, or just a bunch of ice and dirty slush?

I think it could go either way but wonder what y'all are thinking.

I miss a decent snowstorm - think the last time it happened here was 2018. (I'm in Durham near Southpoint)

Who's got Golden Girls?

I have Netflix, Amazon Prime, YouTube premium and Hulu courtesy of my son's fiancee.

I'm really enjoying all the clips of Betty White. She was a treasure.

I tend not to grieve when a person dies at 99, especially knowing that she kept her marbles to the end and had a fabulous life. But I do have this urge to binge watch Golden Girls tonight.

my kids and grandkids are driving me nuts.

But I have an idea, and maybe it will help me get into the spirit, of which i am lagging badly for whatever reason.
They haven't given me their christmas lists. I don't know what to get them.

But as I said I have an idea. I will give FOR them.

for my oldest son, a donation to NORML (he's in CA so he's okay, but I'm in NC and want him to visit)
for my DIL, who called me raging over TX, planned parenthood and/or NARAL
for my 14-year-old granddaughter, Human Rights Campaign
for my middle son, he's a toughie who won't cop to caring about much at all, but he has a JD degree, so SPLC
for my youngest son, ASPCA or another animal care organization

I will have to be satisfied with these gifts. I do know what to get for my grandsons and my son's fiancee has kindly provided a wish list so she's covered.

there. i'm almost done christmas shopping. what do you think?

What I want to see happen.

So the parents of a juvenile mass murderer will be charged and I'm good with that. They must be huge fans of Madison Cawthorn (https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/madison-cawthorn-trump-boys-monsters-b1941915.html). I've read elsewhere that the mother is a trump worshipper. They bought their son a gun. They knew he was a disaster waiting to happen. They took him shopping and bought him the gun. I hope they're convicted.

What tends to piss me off and frustrate me no end are when parents leave loaded weapons where their young children can get them and someone ends up injured or dead. These parents need to be prosecuted.

These incidents are not accidents, they are the direct result of depraved indifference, criminal negligence, child abuse, etc. They do not seem to stop happening. Maybe, just maybe, if the people truly responsible for these tragedies faced consequences, they'd stop or at least happen less often. Some people who will die with the status quo, would live.


can Rittenhouse be prosecuted federally? is there any chance that will happen?

Can the prosecution have the trial nulled somehow because of the judge and his clear bias? obviously if rittenhouse had been (rightfully) convicted he could appeal and appeal and appeal, but is there in fact no hope of that at all?

my heart aches for the families of the victims and i try not to be fearful because of the message sent by the verdict. then today i read he's being promoted for a congressional medal. could it be any clearer that the GOP is the party of white supremacy?

Which COVID Vaccine Booster is Best? Pfizer vs. Moderna vs. J. Johnson (Update 133)

Vaccine Efficacy Versus Delta Variant: Real World Data (COVID 19 Update 129)

MedCram has also recently posted this long video regarding "COVID Vaccine Myths, Questions, and Rumors with Rhonda Patrick and Roger Seheult" - I watched the whole thing but know it's hard to commit over 2 hours to a video.

My daughter died 20 years ago today.

Twenty years on. This anniversary is never fun, but it feels like a milestone I did not, at the time, think I would ever see. At the time, every minute passing by was a torture as I grappled with an intolerable fact that every cell and every thought and emotion rejected.

I wondered how to live if Bekah didn't. Twenty years on, I think I've learned and managed about as well as possible given her persistent absence. Still miss her, always will. Still feel her near me and take comfort in little signs I fancy she sends me.

"Sad soul, take comfort, nor forget
That sunrise never failed us yet" - Celia Thaxter

Early on I scolded the sun for daring to rise if Bekah wasn't alive. Night after sleepless night I watched it do it anyway. I gazed at the rising sun, begging it to bring me back my girl. Just let me see her ghost. Her face. Her smile. To this day I fall out longing for a visit from her as I dream. It happens sometimes. She's different ages in these dreams. Sometimes I know she's dead, other times I don't until I wake up.

The sun did persist in rising, day in, day out, for twenty years now. It has done so again today. It feels like a milestone I must memorialize, even if I don't know how. I want to write a poem but the words elude me. I want to make a painting but my hand is shaky and I don't think I'll like what results. So here we are. Twenty years.

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