So the background to this is my mother passed away from covid in December just before Christmas.... She was somewhat Mormon although not really practicing and throughout her life she's been several different religions... I guess she never got done exploring her beliefs maybe who knows... In any case she did not give me any sort of instructions beyond cremation as to her wishes....

Her brother however and his family have been Mormon their entire lives very devout.... Her brother passed away a few months before she did

her brother's wife, My aunt, just texted me and asked me if she can seal my mother to her parents (my grandparents...)

I have no idea what this means other than she said it means they can spend the afterlife together.... I am an atheist so the whole thing is rather awkward for me to even think about

As far as I know my grandmother and my grandfather were not Mormon .... But they have apparently been sealed in the Mormon church after they passed, by my aunt and uncle....
My great-aunt is also going to be sealed.... She is also not Mormon.... She's also already passed....

Is it normal to perform this ritual upon people who have already passed regardless of their religious affiliation? Regardless of whether or not they asked for it?

She's asking for my permission.... I'm not sure how I feel about it on one hand I think what could it hurt but I also don't know if there's any actual real world ramifications to this ritual.... Is there any legal implications?

And then I wonder would they be sealing me after I pass? Knowing I'm atheist? Assuming they would not.... Then are they in their mind separating me from my mom and my grandmother and my family?

I just feel really strange about all this... I would appreciate some wisdom from du...

Edit to add: My mother and her brother were Not very close.... She didn't speak to her father for most of her life.... I'm not sure she'd want to spend eternity with them lol

***Seems like a self resolving problem! This morning she received a call that her SSI had been approved! They will be sending her a debit card and will pay nearly a year of back pay! Shes not getting much, 465/mo, and they will take back child support out of that so she'll actually get about 300/mo but she also has food stamps, with this she should be able to pay off her fines, get her license back and maybe even get a car which means she can work a bit to fill in the gaps!! There's light at the end of the tunnel! Thanks all!

This is going to be a long story please forgive me for that....

3 years ago I hired a woman to clean my house twice a month, she was fully licensed and had been working for herself for some time.... She did a great job so I've always kept her.

During that first year, I recall her talking about losing her house, at the time we were merely cordial at best and it seemed like she had a plan and had a handle on it so I wasn't too concerned... Shortly after that we bought a house and moved and we lost touch with her for several months. Then one day she reached out and said if I still need somebody to clean and I rehired her.

As I've gotten to know her better I learned that she's been homeless for a very long time, and that when she lost her house it was quite a while ago not recent like I had thought...

I've kept her employed because she very much needed the money and she did a great job I figured it was the least I could do and when a room opened up in my house last November, I couldn't stand the idea of her spending another winter outside...I offered the room to her and we worked out a deal where I still paid her for the twice a month cleanings but she keeps up the dishes kitchen and whatnot in between cleanings for free and exchange for the room. I wanted to give her the opportunity to get back on her feet, and I just couldn't live with myself knowing that I could have done something to help but did not....homelessness is an issue very dear to my heart because my brother was homeless for 11 years (he also now lives with me.)

Mental health is also another issue that is dear to my heart because my brother and my husband both have serious mental health issues, My mother had depression and anxiety and I also have anxiety... So soon after this woman moved in with me it became very apparent that she was also having severe behavioral health issues. She did Tell me once that she had been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic but she also coupled that with 'they don't know what they're talking about I'm not crazy'

She's very much in denial and refuses any medication she's scared of becoming addicted she's scared that they won't work and she's partially paranoid that people are just trying to drug her up. Everyday she hears voices and she believes people are hunting her, she thinks she has a microchip in her leg etc...she is truly a tortured soul and it breaks my heart to see her going through that. She is clean and sober and has been for a very long time. She was very often come upstairs screaming and angry about what "they" said or how "they" are going to pay etc.... She's angry about people who have wronged her 5 to 10 years ago as if it just happened yesterday...

She also underwent 6 weeks of radiation for throat cancer since she has been living here, that was fortunately successful.

I do everything I can to help her I've bought her decorations for her room, I drive her everywhere I can and when I can't I pay for Lyft rides... Upwards of several hundred dollars a month to help her get the things she needs done..

She's trying to get social security, permanent housing etc but she's reaching dead ends everywhere..... I suspect it's at least partially if not completely because when she fills out paperwork and has interviews for these sort of things she denies that has paranoid schizophrenia, she thinks that diagnosis is just because somebody wanted to lock her up...

She has four children three of whom are adults, but I don't feel like I should reach out to them for help because according to her they are also being hunted so I have no idea if they are suffering from the same struggles as she is or not and I'm not confident that it would be helpful.


Recently the episodes with her have become worse, and I'm realizing that this arrangement is not sustainable. Yesterday was a very bad day...

I am hoping that somewhere in Washington State there is some sort of advocacy group or free attorneys or something that can help her get some of this social safety net set up for her because whatever she is doing doesn't appear to be working.... It seems like what she really needs is one case worker that could help her get everything set up but I'm not even sure if something like that exists...

Are any of you aware of any kind of all-encompassing advocacy or caseworker type organizations that can truly help someone get set up and back on their feet?

350,000 dead - my mother was one of them, just last week.... I know several of you are in the same position right now. it hurts so bad to lose her - but its more than that. As I go through the process of working with the hospital, funeral home, receiving well wishes from friends, family, co-workers and here on DU - in having all of these conversations about my mom, how she died, her wishes, my wishes, well wishes.....all of this makes me realize that Covid steals so much more than just her life....

it stole years from her life - if not for covid I'm certain we would have had another several years with her

its stole nearly a years worth of time with my mother before she died - we couldn't see her except a couple of video calls the nursing home was able to set up -

it stole any joy from her last year of life - all social activities in the home were stopped on top of no visitors - she was cooped up and bored....

it stole the opportunity to have holidays with her - there's presents under the tree for her right now...

it stole the opportunity to say goodbye before she passed

it stole the opportunity to see her after she passed

it stole the opportunity to have a memorial service of any type

it stole the opportunity to be around family while grieving...

all of these things would risk more of my family....


from the deepest core of my being - Fuck Covid, Fuck 2020 and Fuck trump!!

Update to - https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214663292


they tried all they could, even experimental treatments but she is far too weak at this point - they are taking the tube out now - and making her comfortable....

I hate this...

update to - https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214633642

she went to the hosp the other day, they addressed her UTI and fractured ankle from a recent fall but said she didnt have any symptoms of covid so they sent her back to her nursing home yesterday - today I got a frantic call from the home - they were sending her back to the hosp - she was having trouble breathing, was confused and they could not stabilize her oxygen - she was rushed in - put in ICU - the doc called me and asked me if she would want to be saved with 'heroic measures' - CPR, life support etc

I didnt really know what to say - I dont really understand all this covid treatment stuff but I also have had to answer those types of questions for her before - I asked him what he recommends - we discussed what her quality of life was before this happened - based on that he said we should try treating the covid and if she responds to treatment he feels like she can be back to her usual self - IF she responds....

but if she doesnt respond to treatment, and she goes into cardiac arrest - no pulse etc - they wont try to revive her - because if it went that far and they revived her & she survived that...she wouldnt be the same - no quality of life.....

they are giving her steroids, anti-biotics, plasma w antibodies - they put her to sleep and intubated her.....now we wait and see if she responds.....

They've had a major outbreak in The nursing home.... They had been doing really well with only a couple of cases all year long but apparently it's gotten out of control in there now...

They moved her into quarantine as of now she's feeling really tired and has a low-grade fever....

Of course I can't see her and as of right now I can't even talk to her but I'm working on that.....

This sucks

I was so happy when he told me - in 2016 we had a few conversations that left me feeling that we best not talk politics, and we didn't until today when he told me out of the blue 😀😀😀😀😀

Wearing my black "Resist" t-shirt and black shorts... Black shoes.... Black sunglasses.....

Had to go to the auto parts store there was a couple of women all decked out in camouflage hat and jacket....

They start looking at me all crazy and I'm sure I was looking at them all crazy.....

I think in that moment I was antifa and they were domestic terrorists.... But we probably all just went home and made dinner instead 🤣

He's a lifelong Republican, tho we never talk politics. today he told me not to worry that America was stronger than this "screwball Trump" he said things may be bad for a period of time, but America would persevere....

💜

I'm wearing a mask.... They walked up and the guy says how do you like this plandemic..... And then just starts vomiting anti-mask stuff at me.... I couldn't get a word in edgewise..... He said only 30 kids have died from covid....I wanted to say yeah we should wait until there's thousands dead before we get worried lol but he just kept on and kept on saying we need to get rid of Jay insley before it'll end ROFL (like our governor can end this worldwide pandemic lol) Said we're not going to get back to normal until 2025 and then she was going on and on and I was just like uh-huh yeah uh-huh.....somewhere in the middle of that she said how much is this and I said two bucks and I took the two bucks and they left and I was so fucking happy lol