FakeNoose
FakeNoose's JournalLying about his age (joke)
John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde.
His buddies are amazed. "There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old geezer like you. How did you pull it off?"
"It's simple," John says, "I lied to her about my age."
"Did you tell her you were 50?" his friends ask. John shakes his head no.
"There is no way she could believe you were 40". John shakes his head again.
"So how old did you tell her you were exactly?"
John smiles and says, "85."
A Terrible Year for Coffee Just Got Worse
(Newser link) https://www.newser.com/story/310428/a-terrible-year-for-coffee-just-got-worse.html
COVID-related restrictions in 2nd-biggest grower, Vietnam, add to supply problems
By John Johnson, Newser Staff
Posted Aug 30, 2021 9:21 AM CDT
The upshot is that coffee prices—at least in the bulk shipping sense—are at their highest in four years (about $2 per ton), reports CNN. So far, chains such as Starbucks have been able to avoid jacking prices too much because they buy in advance and can hedge against these spikes. But that can't last forever. JM Smucker, which owns the brands Dunkin' and Folgers, warned last week that consumer prices might have to rise in the near future, and JDE Peet's (Peet's Coffee and Stumptown) have said much the same previously. (Also: Your morning cup of coffee may have an unpleasant origin story.)
- short article, no more at link -
Blurb is based on longer article from Bloomberg: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-08-27/global-coffee-supply-dealt-fresh-blow-by-vietnam-s-virus-curbs
We're Librarians, and we're here to help
Posted on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/pdaerz/this_sign_at_the_library/
Sign posted at a local library for people who needed help to locate books on serious topics.
"As Librarians, we're not here to judge, we're here to help."
Rescued Afghan family steps off the plane in Belgium
I don't have any details for this story, except that the photo was just posted on Reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/pdd39q/the_joy_in_that_step_afghan_girl_as_she_arrives/
That happy little Afghan girl is skipping and smiling on her new adventure.
Hudson Valley smoke shop to give away free joints
(link) https://www.timesunion.com/hudsonvalley/news/article/Hudson-Valley-smoke-shop-to-give-away-free-joints-16416543.php
The event will be held today and next Friday between 3 and 6 p.m. or until supplies run out at Smokers Mecca in Beacon, located at 285 Main Street.
“We’re just hoping people come in and say hi and get a little joint for free,” said owner Grant McCabe, who also owns The Leaf NY on the other end of Main Street in Beacon.
He emphasized that the joints are real and aren’t synthetic cannabinoid or some other version of THC or CBD. “It’s something cool to do for our customers and the Hudson Valley.”
“It’s a genius business move. Instead of spending tons on advertising, he is giving away free weed. The word will spread,” said local resident Danielle Moses, who has lived in Beacon for almost 10 years. Is she going today? “If I can get there between 3 to 6 without the kids, you betcha.”
While New York State has legalized adult, recreational-use of marijuana with this year’s passage of the Marijuana Regulation and Taxation Act, it’s still illegal to sell weed to customers here. The loophole: residents may possess up to three ounces of cannabis. While experts say there’s nothing in the new pot law that specifically prohibits gifting weed to adults, they say things could get dicey down the road with the state’s cannabis control board.
- more at link -
Maybe take a nice drive through the historic Hudson Valley, and make a quick stop in Beacon?
Robert Reich: Jeff Bezos' net worth vs. the US mininum wage
https://twitter.com/RBReich/status/1431014092802826240@RBReich
Jeff Bezos net worth in 2009: $6,800,000,000
Jeff Bezos net worth in 2021: $191,300,000,000
Federal minimum wage in 2009: $7.25
Federal minimum wage in 2021: $7.25
If this doesn’t convince you our economy is rigged, nothing will.
6:02 PM · Aug 26, 2021
Comeback of the Year Award
Found on Reddit. (If this was posted already, apologies for the duplicate.)
Pittsburgh area school: restraining order filed to reinstate masking
North Allegheny parents, students file restraining order against school district to reinstate mask mandate(link) https://www.post-gazette.com/news/education/2021/08/23/North-Allegheny-School-District-na-mask-mandate-requirement-parents-students-restraining-order/stories/202108230063
On Sunday around 7 p.m., 11 students and 11 parents filed a complaint seeking to reverse the current optional masking policy, and around 10:30 p.m., they filed a motion for the restraining order, Post-Gazette news partner KDKA-TV reported.
“My clients want to protect their kids. I’m a parent here in the school district; I want to protect my kids,” Alexander Saksen, an attorney for the group, told KDKA.
The group filed the complaint against the North Allegheny School District, the school board, and the individual board members seeking to reverse the optional masking policy.
On Wednesday, the school board overturned the superintendent’s order two days earlier that required mandatory masking in its schools.
The injunction complaint said, “The board’s decision violates Constitutional substantive and procedural due process and will result in irreparable harm to the Plaintiffs, NASD staff, students, and visitors, and the local community at large.”
- more at link -
School opens tomorrow ...
Here's a joke for the engineers
An engineer dies and goes to Hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action.
The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor is jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the satellite dish, and now they get hundreds of high def channels.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out, and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks.
He asks Satan, "What's going on?"
Satan says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."
"What?" says God. "An engineer? I never sent you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."
The devil replies, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
Satan laughs, "Where are you going to get a lawyer?"
(Found on Reddit)
Conservative Karen Joke
Conservative Karen buys a private jet.
She doesn't know how to fly it so decides to find a pilot who can. Finally she meets Dave, who claims he can take her wherever she wants, only she can't talk during the flight, or ask him any questions.
She says sarcastically, "Ok fly me to a place where there are no liberals, no fake news media, no mask mandates, and guns everywhere ... and you can have the job."
"Sure, I can do that, let's go."
Taken aback she says, "Fine!" and they start flying.
Hours go by and no words are exchanged. Karen can't take it any more, so she says, "Are we getting there or not? Do I have to find someone else to fly this damn plane?"
Dave says "We're almost where you asked me to take you. I'm sure you'll find a lot of other pilots ready to take you somewhere else."
Before she can say another thing, he says, "Welcome to Afghanistan!"
Profile Information
Name: Kathy HinsmanGender: Female
Hometown: Pittsburgh PA
Home country: USA
Current location: Pittsburgh
Member since: Sat Feb 18, 2017, 02:16 PM
Number of posts: 32,639
