April 23, 2020

Just got off the phone with my car insurance agent. Omigod.

He was coughing, wheezing.

"I think I might have that crap", he told me.

Me: "GET YOURSELF TO AN EMERGENCY ROOM."

He: "Good news is that State Farm is rebating some money because of low auto usage."

Me: "Who cares. You could barely get that out. GET YOURSELF TO AN EMERGENCY ROOM."

He: "I think I'll call my doctor right now."

Me: "We're wasting time."

And I hung up.

April 21, 2020

Regarding the evil little shit: is he dead yet?

April 20, 2020

Regarding Flat Earthers: what's their motivation?

So, I just watched "Beyond the Curve" on Netflix, and I have little doubt that the most famous of them, Mark Sargent, is a fraud... in it for the notoriety and the possible profits.

But the rest of them....

I mean, how stupid do you have to be to ignore the fact that ships disappear over the horizon? Or that the moon sometimes eclipses the sun?

April 17, 2020

Laura Ingraham: WTF???????????

Laura Ingraham
✔
@IngrahamAngle
How many of those who urged our govt to help liberate the Iraqis, Syrians, Kurds, Afghanis, etc., are as committed now to liberating Virginia, Minnesota, California, etc?

19.7K
1:43 PM - Apr 17, 2020

April 17, 2020

Honestly, it takes an IDIOT to think 360,000 Americans die each year in swimming pools

How did that idiot ever garner such a following?

April 15, 2020

We need a poll: is a virus alive?

I vote no.

April 11, 2020

Song covers that are better than the originals.

Few and far between... so much so that for me there really is only one standout...

I'll preface this by saying that I have an enormous love for Tears for Fears. "Head Over Heels", in particular, is a fantastic production. And "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is an acknowledged classic. But, sorry to say....

This:

Is better than this:



It's so obvious to me that this song should have been slower paced as in the Gary Jules version that I'm left wondering "what were they thinking?"

A beautiful song in either case, though.

April 7, 2020

Where's Melania?

Not that I miss that lizard's creepy looking face, but she's been curiously absent, no?

April 4, 2020

Have you heard that China did this on purpose?

Well, that's what I've heard from three trumplodytes now.

"Why would they do that?", I asked.

Next door neighbor: "To make trump look bad because he was hurting their economy."

Brother: "Because their economy was in the crapper, so that's where they wanted ours to be, too."

Other brother: "They made it in a laboratory to harm us, they didn't mean to infect their own citizens but they don't care about them, anyway."

Not surprisingly, all three answers made perfect sense to me... in the sense that I was talking to three stupid people.

April 4, 2020

What do you do when snot accumulates and hardens in your nose?

Blow your brains out?