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murielm99's Journal
murielm99's Journal
December 19, 2022

Barry Goldwater

If I had been old enough to vote then, I would never have voted for him to be President.

Looking back at his career, he was in favor of an all-volunteer army at a time when that was considered crazy. He told Nixon that it was time for him to resign.

Recently, I discovered that he said the abortion debate might threaten "the perpetuation of our form of government."

December 19, 2022

My cat has been stalking a mouse all morning.

It just climbed the Christmas tree. I think we could be in real trouble here.

December 9, 2022

I just finished my radiation therapy.

It is stereotactic radiation treatment, used for people with certain stage one and stage two cancers. I had five treatments.

After four months of delays and lack of communication, my primary care provider connected me with the Ferguson Cancer Center in Freeport IL. I don't know why she did not do this sooner. I don't know why I did not know the place existed.

They had all the test results from the hospital next door. They got me scheduled in three days. They provide university level care in a smaller setting than UW Madison or the affiliated cancer center in Rockford. They do not treat me like a name on a file folder.

In three months, I will have my first scans. They claim a 90% success rate. That means that 90% of the people do not have a recurrence within five years.

Has anyone else here had this treatment? I am not asking for medical advice, just similar experiences. I don't need medical advice. Finally, I am in good hands!

November 12, 2022

Finally! Some treatment.

However, I do not feel I have been well-served by the medical community.

I mentioned that I have been tested and re-tested by the thoracic surgery people at UW Madison. There has been no treatment. I was diagnosed at the end of July, and still no treatment.

I received an MRI on Nov. 7. This has not spread to my brain. Yay! But think about it: July 29 to November 7 with no treatment.

I went to Madison and met with the radiation oncology team. They, too, were surprised that there has been no treatment yet. They put me in touch with their colleagues in Rockford at Swedish American. Swedes is a branch of UW Madison. These people are supposed to be the best in the country.

They did get me set up right away with radiation treatments. They seemed more interested in getting me involved in a study of atezolizumab than anything else. They regarded me as an ideal candidate. At first, I was willing to go along with it, although the possible side effects sound brutal. Then, the more I heard, the less I was interested. A research nurse went over everything with me. I decided I would not do it. The doctor told me that if I read the side effects of aspirin I would be reluctant to take aspirin. I agreed to stick with the plan and enter the study.

Of course there will still be some delay. They are not going to start this on Thanksgiving day or anything like that. A week or so seems like a reasonable delay to get things going.

Appointments were set up. I was scheduled for radiation right away, since this immunotherapy treatment is done in conjunction with radiation.

I asked for a timeline. Remember, four months have now passed. How long before this cancer spreads and is no longer early stage? A nurse there, let's call him "James," gave me a figure of 43 days. It would take time to pull everything together. I did not pull this number out of thin air. I swear I did not.

I am fragile already. I nearly collapsed. I spoke to the main doc about it. He told me that his department, radiation oncology, had not delayed anything. This is true. He wanted to know where I got the 43 days number. I told him. I told him I could not stand another long delay. I kept repeating the part about 43 days. The doc told me we were talking in circles, at cross purposes.

My husband noticed my mental health. This is affecting him, too. We are both in a bad place.

I went in to see the doc. I told him I was still willing to participate. I wanted to know how it would be paid for. He said Medicare usually paid. Sometimes they had trouble with some of the supplements. I told him that I was still willing to participate in the study if Medicare and my supplement would pay. I could not figure out why the study itself did not pay. I am not willing to bankrupt us for this study. He told me that I was no longer a candidate for inclusion in the study. I guess I am too bitchy, too unstable and I ask too many questions.

I think they only cared about me because on paper I looked like an ideal candidate for their study. I am not a person, just a name on a file folder.

I will be getting the radiation in five concentrated doses. This is still early stage. I could still be cured, with or without the immunotherapy treatments and study. This will begin in early December. Think about it: August, September, October, November and now early December. I think it is amazing that it has not spread to my lymph nodes and brain. Also, I think I have a right to question the delays in treatment, the testing and re-testing when the first tests were good and positive for my diagnosis.

I hope things go well from here. Thanks in advance for your prayers and good thoughts. I don't know what I would do without my husband and this group.

November 9, 2022

Eric Sorensen!

I didn't know if I should put this in the Illinois group, or LGBTQ or what.

He did it! He did it! He did it!

Eric Sorensen won the 17th District seat, formerly held by Cheri Bustos. This was a tight race.

A very good man is holding this seat. I am so happy!

November 7, 2022

My brother died in August of 2021.

His widow has had his ashes all this time. Finally, we found a spot for him in a cemetery in the town where we grew up.

We had his funeral in August of 2021.

Saturday, there was a brief commitment ceremony by the pastor, now retired, who was also his close friend. His widow was there, and his four children.

I guess everyone feels a sense of closure and farewell now.

Goodbye, little brother.

November 4, 2022

Once again, I am terrified.

The thoracic surgery people have been doing nothing but testing and re-testing for three months. I have received no treatment. I saw radiation oncology, at long last on Nov. 1st. I decided to go with this treatment rather than surgery. These are the reasons:

I have atrial fibrillation. I will have to go off my blood thinner. I could develop a clot that would be dangerous.

There is danger of infection.

I am 74 and not as strong as a younger person having surgery.

I could end up on oxygen for the rest of my life.

The radiation oncology people are meeting with me next week and getting things going. They may also put me on keytruda, which kind of scares me because of the side effects. Radiation will come first. These docs, and my primary are still speaking in terms of a cure, since my lung cancer is only at stage 1B. I hope they are right.

I am having an MRI - brain scan - on Monday. It will determine whether or not this has gone to my brain. That is unlikely. It usually does not go to the brain until stage 4. The broncoscopy doc said he could find no indication that this has spread outside my lung to any other part of my body. I'm worried about this too, of course.

I am not ready to die. I still have many things left to do, especially when it come to my part in saving our democracy.

There are some people here, and IRL for me, who have a good feeling about my prognosis. I hope they are right. I could use your prayers, good thoughts, and whatever else you care to share that might prop me up. Thanks in advance.

November 2, 2022

"No way in hell!"

My husband and I spent some time on the phone this afternoon, reminding Democrats to vote. I took my own precinct where they know me as precinct committee person. My husband took a nearby community. We call voters who always vote Democratic, all the way down to people who vote occasionally. He got one guy who has a 50% rating on voting for Democrats. Husband left a message. The guy texted him back, "No way in hell."

I guess he is a magat convert. LOL.

October 22, 2022

A simple electric range

I have a new kitchen. We bought a Maytag electric double oven range with convection oven. It has a flat glass cook top.

I hate the damn thing and it is going back to the store. I can't figure out how to use the oven(s) and the food is always cold or undercooked. I use computers and other devices with little or no problem. I can't be that stupid.

I would like a simple free standing range. One oven is good enough. I don't need a convection oven or air fryer. I don't care what kind of cook top it has, as long as it cleans up well. I am so tired of this!

Does anyone have any recommendations as to what type of range I can get that heats up to the standard temperatures and broils as well? Has easy to set features, even if they are few?

October 16, 2022

Cancer is a crapshoot.

Love to all of you here.

That is all.

Profile Information

Gender: Female
Hometown: Illinois
Home country: USA
Member since: Mon Nov 10, 2003, 12:24 PM
Number of posts: 30,799
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