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Member since: Tue Apr 28, 2015, 03:51 PM
Number of posts: 62

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Are Single Parent Families UnAmerican? Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses

As a single mother of three who graduates from the University of Oklahoma next week, I find myself dealing with a lot of people's derogatory attitudes towards single mothers. I have met people who seem to be great and really like me, until they learn that I am a single mother. Their attitudes change so suddenly it is astonishing. Not everyone, but a large amount of people. I have been in college for 6 years, I am graduating with my Bachelor's degree next week. I have worked very hard to get where I am at and I am a great mother. How can my hard work and effort be offensive to some? I must admit, though, that the negative attitudes always come from people whose ideology tends to lean Republican. I have been told that I shouldn't have had any children if I couldn't afford them. I have been told that I need to find a husband to take care myself and my family, regardless of compatibility. They literally told me to look for financial security in a husband rather than love so that my family and I would cease to be a burden on the average upstanding American. I have quoted the statue of Liberty in defense of my little family so many times
"Give me your tired, your poor, your Huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me: I lift my lamp beside the golden door" (Emma Lazarus)

You see, I do not think that I am UnAmerican. In my eyes I am the very definition of American. I was born into poverty. I was raised in poverty. I am still impoverished, even more so now that I have been in college for six years. But I AM GRADUATING with my Bachelor's degree from OU and I will get a good job and be able to support my family off of my wages for the first time in my life. I know that I can do this with the grace of god. He has seen me this far, why would he abandon me? He won't. And I know that. But, the question still remains, when did we, as Americans, lose sight of what a true American is? When did the idea of what an American is become someone who works for less than living wages, accepted that class would not be a ladder that we could climb, and turn our backs on each other? When did we gain the right to judge our fellow man?

I did a project for class this semester. I made a gofundme page along with another girl in my class. Our situations were very similar, except that I am white and my friend is African American. We decided to gauge the reaction of the white community to a family in need versus the African American community's response. The African American community responded with overwhelming love, support, and shares that resulted in $1500 being raised for my friend and her family in the first 24 hours. My community, the white community, rebuked me thoroughly when I posted my campaign to my Facebook page. I received messages from friends telling me that I should be ashamed to ask my community for help. They told me that if I couldn't afford something to simply figure it out on my own? My cause and campaign were very real. I truly do need the help and my story is true. When I posted later about the results of our class experiment I was met with people who were angry that I didn't disclose the details of the campaign up front. If I had they would have made a greater effort to share that our family was in need rather than shaming me. I told them that was the entire point of the social experiment to begin with. I also told them that I still have the campaign if they would still be interested in donating or sharing it with others in the hopes of donating. A few did, others simply were upset that the white community lost to the African American community in comparison of the social experiment. I actually had people unfriend me on Facebook because I posted the gofundme page once. I deleted others after they shamed me for the posting. I learned so much about this. I am just curious how people on this forum feels about this? I truly wish to gauge how different groups feel about this subject. My professor lit a fire in me to better understand why single parents are looked at so differently in different communities. If you are interested in my campaign feel free to let me know and I can give you the information. I made the mistake of posting the link on this post originally and it was brought to my attention that I should not be asking for money. I want people's opinions, not their money. I must admit it shamed me yet again. I apologize, it was not my intent to ask for money, I just wasn't sure if I should include the very thing I am asking questions about. I apologize if I have offended anyone. I truly wish to learn more about this.

Posted by 1HappyDemocrat | Fri May 1, 2015, 03:40 PM (39 replies)

Democrat surrounded by Republicans in Oklahoma!

Yes it is as frightening as it sounds! I live in Oklahoma and it is not fun! Imagine my horror on election day. I always vote but it is always symbolic It is good to be among friends.
Posted by 1HappyDemocrat | Thu Apr 30, 2015, 10:11 PM (19 replies)
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